Tina's Story

This is the "Liver Story" as told by my best friend, Nicole Fisher (aka Tina).  Tina walked through the entire process with me from beginning to end.  I know best friends don't keep score and don't keep count but I'll never be able to thank her enough for all that she did for me.  Here is her story:

It was one of those events that I will always remember the time and place I heard the news.   I was in Target shopping for various cards, Elena was yelling in the cart and Tommy was nearby at preschool. Sarah called and told me the short version of how she heard of a baby in need of a liver, and that she was on her way back from testing to see if she was a match.  The second I heard this, I knew she was most definitely a match, because that’s just how things work in her life.  Everything happens for a reason, and she is always in the right place at the right time.  While she always manages to do the things no one else could imagine doing, it doesn’t happen easily.  She called within an hour of the initial phone call to say her doctors had no concerns and she was clear to do the surgery, but we just had to wait to hear from the baby’s team.   Within the first or second conversation, I said that I would love to come and stay at the hospital with her.  Her husband was away and I knew the hospital was where I could do the most good.  I knew my family and friends could handle any needs on my end, and jumped into action.  My supervisors at work were more supportive than I could imagine and I had immediate approval to do whatever was necessary to be there.  I made some contacts here and arranged for several meals for both my family and Sarah’s.  We ready to go.

As I waited for the phone call to give us an exact date, people often asked me if felt scared or worried, and oddly, the answer was “not at all.”  My only worry was packing up and getting out of my house on time.  I had not one doubt that his would go easily and as planned.  This journey had to be led for above for all of these variables to line up and make this happen.  People said they couldn’t believe Sarah was making this choice and many doubted they would so themselves.  To most of them I stated that they obviously didn’t know Sarah.  Before, during, and especially after surgery, I would say I would make the same decision she did. 

Prior to our trip south, I was able to watch a news clip about the baby.  His mother had gone to the news stations asking them to help her advocate for her son.  After seeing him and his mother, there was no going back.   I knew what they looked like and couldn’t get the image out of my head.  Thursday evening, after working all day, Fran and I headed to meet Sarah at the hotel I would stay at throughout her hospital stay.  We arrived late at night and had about 4 hours before we had to be at the hospital.  Sarah and I chatted just like normal, with no reservations or worries about surgery the next day.  We have been friends for many years and can say a lot without saying a word.  We have similar personalities.  We are down to business, no muss no fuss ladies.  We do what we are told in a work situation while fighting for what is right.  We take care of others and know what we want and how we want it.  All of these qualities make us good leaders, but able to follow directions as needed.  We had both individually done our research, and somewhat knew what to expect.  We knew this would go as planned and we knew our roles. 

The morning came and we made it to the hospital without an issue.  Sarah got set up in pre-op and I got my information and pager that they would use to contact me throughout surgery.  Sarah was off to surgery and Fran and I ate breakfast.  Soon after that we got a page saying surgery had started.  Fran then left to go be with her grandbabies and I was there for the long haul.   I had a long day of sitting ahead of me, so I settled in.  I watched several shows on Netflix, took a few walks and just observed my surrounding s.  I heard very little from the surgery team throughout the day, but I figured that was a good sign.  By about lunch time, I decided I was going to search for the family of the baby.  I knew what mom looked like from the news broadcast, and I figured there couldn’t be too many people in the pediatric surgery waiting room.   I hadn’t planned what I was going to say, but words come easily to me, and I rarely fumble when speaking with others.  (I had previously discussed this with Sarah, and she was ok with me contacting the baby’s family.)  I walked through the double doors connecting the main hospital to the children’s hospital and immediately spotted the mother of the baby.

 She was waiting for the elevator, and looked distressed.  I formally addressed her , she turned and I introduced myself by saying “My name is Nicole and my friend is the person donating part of her liver to your son.”  She immediately gave me a look of relief, combined with joy and shock.  Her eyes welled with tears and she said “they told me the person didn’t want to meet me.”   I explained to her that this wasn’t true, Sarah just did not want to be in the media as she felt this wasn’t about her, this was about the baby and the calling she had to do this.   We sat down on some nearby chairs and began some basic introductions.  She told me she had other children and that the baby’s father was not in the picture.  She was doing this all by herself.  I immediately knew that I was in the right place.  I gave her a few details about Sarah and her family and showed her a picture or two.  The mother didn’t know what to say.  We sat there making small talk and I heard the story of Elijah.  I couldn’t believe I was chosen to be a part of this journey and I was able to be on both side of the transplant.  The family receiving her liver needed this more than words could express.  They had two previous possible donors, but neither turned out to be a match.  There was no eligible family member and no match in sight.  Mom explained to me that she had spoken to the parent of another child who had been on the waiting list for a liver and passed away.  That mother stated she has simply waited and Elijah’s mom knew she had to do more.  She put up flyers, stood in parking lots and contacted the news.  While many people had seen the broadcast, and even had up to 250 people come forward, Sarah was the only perfect match.  After about 30 minutes my surgical pager went off and I excused myself to go get more information.  I told her I would be back and give her any updates I got.  We exchanged phone numbers so I could text her if I was unable to return to the waiting room.  I am sure she felt very overwhelmed when I walked away, yet comforted at the same time.  The update simply stated they were still in surgery.  I spoke to her several times during the remainder of the surgery and promised to stay in touch.  A few hours later I was able to meet with the surgeon who reported all went well and her liver looked perfect.  I even got to see a picture of her liver dissected into the part she kept and the part Elijah received.  It was mind blowing.  I ran into his mother in the hallway and showed her the picture.   Her greatest dream was becoming a reality at that moment.  Of course, Elijah was still completing his surgery, but all was going well.  After another hour and a half, I was able to see Sarah.  She was a bit drowsy and in some pain, but overall doing well.  I made my way back to the hotel an hour or so later to get some rest.  I had had only 1 hour of sleep in the past 36 hours.  My mind was racing and it took me awhile to settle down.  I gave all of the updates I could and went to bed. 

The next few days are somewhat of a blur.  I was at the hospital between 5-6 am each day and left usually around 8pm.  I spent my days making sure every need of Sarah’s was met and also making sure Elijah’s mom was taking care of herself.  One of my most meaningful conversations with the baby’s mom happened at lunch the day after surgery.  I had left to give Sarah some time to rest quietly and asked her to join me for lunch.  She told me that after they took Elijah for surgery, which was only moments before I came to meet her, she was praying and looking for answers.  She felt uncertain and worried and asked for help.  She said when I reached out to her and touched her shoulder, she felt as if God’s hands had reached down and touched her.  She said I was the answer to her prayer at that moment.  I gave her comfort at a low point in her life and made her have confidence.  I have never received more of a compliment in my life.  I was where I supposed to be.  She told me of her family and life, and I grew to learn that she didn’t come from the privileged background that I had.  She struggled many times in her life and was doing this on her own.  She has adult children, but they were at home caring for her younger children.  Taking care of Elijah was her full time job, and she did it well.  I made it my mission to be sure she had all she needed during my stay.  I could easily care for Sarah, while providing support for her.  Each day I would be sure she at least had one or two meals, and had someone to talk to.  I would visit her and Elijah several times a day and check on both them.  I was her sounding board for problems she was having and I was her cheerleader.  When I spent time talking to Elijah after surgery, it was mind blowing to think he now had a part of my best friend in him.  I told her if he got any of her qualities, he would be set for life.  When able, I would bring Sarah up with me.  I continuously reminded her that she had many people praying for her and her baby. 

Sarah continued to improve, as did Elijah, but it was well known that his hospital stay would be longer than hers.  When the day came for me to leave, I went up to say goodbye to them.  I knew we would keep in touch, but it was still a bittersweet moment.  I had become immersed in their lives in a very short period of time.  I told Elijah that I would see him again and that he needs to stay strong and work hard at getting better.  He was able to wave goodbye to me as I walked out the door.  I have stayed in touch and get daily updates.   Although I didn’t personally donate or receive, the amazing journey of organ transplant was seen in its fullest in my eyes.   Life is beautiful and miracles do happen.