Crystal Kay Marie

And now for my oldest daughter:

Crystal Kay Marie

Age: 5

DOB: 2/10/06

Favorite Colors:  pink and purple

Favorite Food:  oranges and butter and jelly sandwiches

Favorite Activity:  playing house

Favorite sport:  gymnastics

Interests:  Disney princesses, baby dolls, barbies, and fashion

How she chose her new name:  When she decided she wanted a new name (her choice, not ours) she chose Crystal after my Grandma Snyder and her Great Grandma Snyder, Crystal Joy Snyder.  She chose it because "she loves Great Grandma a lot and because it's a 'snazzy' name."  She then told us she chose "KayKay" as her middle name after my sister (whom they call Aunt KayKay) because she loves her so much too.  We had to do a little persuading and drop it to "Kay."  After a few more minutes of thinking she asked if she could have two middle names since she loves Aunt KayKay but still loves her original middle name, Marie.  Again, we couldn't argue with that so now we have our Crystal Kay Marie.

Crystal is my mystery child.  It takes every neuron in my brain to read this child.  She is a five year old girl who would like to be 25 most days and completely independent.  However, some days she wants to be five months old and completely dependent.  Women!

Crystal is a very social child.  She loves to be around people all the time. The girl can't take a bath without shouting out for me every five minutes or so.  She is not content to play with her toys unless someone else is in the room.  She cannot stand to be alone.  She craves attention; she thrives on attention.  Truth be told this scares me a little bit.  We are working incredibly hard to teach her to seek the right kind of attention at the right times.  We are also trying so hard to teach her to be content with herself.

Crystal is 100% Type A.  She follows all the rules and her room is neat as a pin.  If you open her drawers you'll find everything is arranged just so.  Her dresser is neat and organized.  Her shoes are always in a perfect line.  Her toys are sorted by type in her toy bins.  She wipes out the sink after she brushes her teeth...everytime...without being told.  She rarely needs to be told to do something twice.  She really is an easy child in this regard.  You can always count on her to do her chores thoroughly and then do a few on top of that.  As a mother I appreciate this tremendously.

Crystal must always know what is next in the schedule.  She hates surprises (even good ones) and uncertainty.  It's almost as she needs to mentally sort out how each activity will be for her or how she wants each activity to be.  However, this has developed a control issue within Crystal.  Likely from all the uncertainty in her past, she feels the need to be in control of nearly everything.  This is Crystal's main issue.  There is a HUGE difference in liking to be in control verses needing to be in control.  Crystal can really have a negative attitude when situations, whether they be in play or in our actual schedule, don't go her way or don't go as expected.  The two mantras we always repeat for her are:  1.  Show love not hate and 2. You worry about you.  She is working very hard on this and we have noticed a big difference in her attitude when she tries.  She truly is trying and we see that.  We're very proud of that.  It tells us she understands and is trying to make a change.  God bless her little heart, as adults it's so hard for us to make a personality change.  Can you even imagine how hard it is for a child...especially for a child who has only experienced 9 months of positivity?

Crystal is a Momma's girl.  She loves her Daddy very much but she clearly needs her Momma.  She does not rest when I am away.  In fact, she often will act out whenever I have to leave.  I'm not sure if it's because she's truly sad because I've left or if she's actually mad that I left.   Nonetheless, my times away from the house without her are far and few between and are usually for necessity and not recreation.  Even when we leave the house, she must be the one to hold my hand.  If my hands are full she holds on to my pockets or purse.  If I'm in the living, so is she.  If I'm in the kitchen so is she.  I know she will need to learn that I will always come back but for now if I don't have to leave, I'd rather not.  I want her to be content.

Crystal is a fashionista.  Where Joseph is all boy, Crystal is totally all girl.  She loves to coordinate her clothes, hair ties, socks, shoes, etc.  She saves her money for the newest and coolest fashion accessories.  She dictates to me how her hair needs to be done.  She carefully chooses her body mist for each day.  When she's dressed and ready she poses in front of door and asks "How beautiful am I today, Mom?"  In our new house this girl will need the biggest closet.  Even when she colors, nothing is ever the color it's supposed to be but rather the color she feels it ought to be.  For her, the more color the better and the brighter the better.  Soon, she'll be giving me fashion advice.  She loves to sit at night and do my hair and put on my make-up.  Once she's done, she'll wipe it off and start all over.  She's already counting the years until she's 13 so she can wear make-up too.

Crystal has a memory like a steel trap.  She doesn't forget anything.  This will serve her well in schooling.  Because she had a late start in the education domain she was behind her peers at the start of kindergarten.  In just six months she has already caught up to them and has surpassed them in math.  She is truly a whiz with numbers.  She already understands the concept of addition and subtraction...thanks to the wonderful Disney Princess flashcards and workbooks (thanks, Zia!).  She also memorizes songs, rhymes, stories, etc.  The only caveat is that she only remembers what she is interested in...typical child!

Crystal will go far in life.  She has excellent organizational skills and the foundation of good leadership qualities which once refined will allow her to lead with love and grace.  She also has the desire to do well.  This means so much in life.  Without desire, your skills mean nothing.  She will be something wonderful.  For now, she's my wonderful child.





Joseph Joshua

Last night as I was waiting for the ball to drop I couldn't help but reflect on all the many blessings in my life.  Naturally, my children are at the top of that list.  With that in mind, I've decided to do a sort of tribute for each of them on the blog, starting with the oldest.

Joseph Joshua

Age: 7

DOB: 6/10/04

Favorite Color: green

Favorite Food:  Grammy's spaghetti and tacos

Favorite activity:  building just about anything - legos, transformers, puzzles, blocks, etc

Favorite sport:  swimming and baseball

Interests:  Marvel superheros, Penn State, Phillies, wild animals (from national geographics)

How he chose his new name:  True story - He went into his room so he could think about it.  He wanted ideas so he took in his Bible and a picture album of our family.  Approximately 15 minutes later he came out and told us he wanted to be Joseph Joshua.  He thought Joseph (the son of Jacob) and Joshua (from the battle of Jericho) were "pretty cool guys" from the Bible.  So that's how he became our Joseph Joshua.  Though we had some other ideas of our own we certainly couldn't argue with that rationale.  Thus, Joseph Joshua he is.

Joseph, Joseph, Joseph.  Even as I type his name I must shake my head.  My son is such a wonder.  There truly is something about a mother and her son.  As quickly as I want to wring his little neck is as quickly as I want to squeeze him up tightly.  Joseph is all boy.  He loves to get dirty, he loves to invent "creations" with sticks, stones and mud, and he loves to build spaceships, forts, and boats.  He hates taking showers but will sit in the tub for an hour as long as he has his shaving kit and match box cars.  He hates cleaning his room but will gladly weed the whole one acre yard for a dollar.  He adores Jordan and looks to him for approval.  He loves me and comes to me for comfort.  He can't stand his sisters at times but will always look out for them and look after them.

Joseph can read like a champ.  Currently, he is in his own reading program at school where he is at a fifth grade reading level (he is in first grade).  This is truly a gift of his as he is average in every other subject.  Joseph will read nearly anything he can get his hands on but he especially loves books about predators and prey, nature, inventions, and the Bible.  At only seven years old Joseph will pick up his Bible, read a chapter or two, and then come to us with thoughtful questions, many of which we struggle to answer.  He's memorized many verses (some, because he had to write them out as punishment!) and already has learned so many stories.  Joseph is curious about EVERYTHING.  This child has not one question but rather one hundred questions about everything.  Because of this I'm sure that his gift of reading was chosen especially for him.  This boy is never satisfied with the information we can give him - thank heaven for books!

Joseph clearly struggles from the trauma of his past.  As a parent I must always remain one step ahead of Joseph.  I've come to really learn what will set him off, what will trouble him, or what will excite him.  I've learned to anticipate this and prepare for it.  I have to plan my reactions so I don't overreact or underreact.  Joseph yearns for consistent comfort.  He loves knowing that expections, rules, and routines, aren't going to change.  Sameness is his comfort.  Thus, sameness he will receive.  It is tough to always prepare for what may come next but it surely has been worth it.  He has made so much progress in the past nine months. 

Joseph is a sweet child.  Though he must work through some issues, he often tries to please us.  He always helps out around the house when asked, he loves to do "big kid chores" like vacuuming, sweeping, cleaning bathrooms, etc.  He's the child who will randomly come to us, hug us, and tell us he loves us.  Any my Joseph is handsome, boy is he handsome.  I know I'm rather biased, but really, look at the kid.

 

Joseph is adventurous.  He loves to try activities, regardless of what the pain or fear level may be.  He loves to ride scary rides, try stunts on his bike, and attempt flips and turns in karate.  Until May he had never been in a pool in his entire life...infact, he didn't even know how to wear a bathing suit (he had so much trouble understanding you didn't wear underwear!)  By August he was diving off of the high dive at the pool and riding waves in the ocean.  We have such great hopes for this guy.  His brains and will power will undoubtedly take him as far as he chooses to go.  Watch out, world, Joseph Joshua is out for an adventure. 



They Are Ours!

Parental Rights Have Been Terminated!

Although this news is truly sad for the biological parents and will be upsetting on some level to our children now and in the future, we are rejoicing.
I feel as though the heaviest burden has been lifted from my spirit.  I had imagined how I would react and how I would feel and the scene wasn't what I thought.  It looked a little like this:

Amanda and I just pulled in the driveway from a rather large trip to the commissary.  As I walked in the door with both arms full of groceries, Amanda hanging off my leg and Brooke jumping to greet us, the phone rang.  Amanda said "It's my crazy Grammy again" (which it usually is.)  But, I looked at the caller ID and it said Lehigh County.  I always answer their calls, always.

Our caseworker for Lehigh Co. then gave us the wonderful news:  Parental Rights have been terminated.  The children will be ours.  The children are ours, but now the paperwork will match our hearts.

I tried my best not to cry or shout.  Amanda was with me.  The kids are always so sensitive to my moods that I didn't want to worry her with my tears.  Then I started the phone calls. 

Our caseworker in State College is filing our intent to adopt tomorrow.  We are serious and we want everyone else to know.

Here are the various scenarios:
1.  The parents have 30 days to appeal.  They do not appeal within the 30 days and the adoption paperwork begins immediately.  The adoption will be finalized in 2-4 months.
2.  The parents appeal within the 30 days.  The case is reviewed again.  There is NO REASON to believe that the decision will be overturned.  A termination case has never been overturned in the history of Lehigh County. 

*Please pray that the biological parents do NOT appeal this decision.


There are so many things I want to post about this.  They will come in future posts.  I'm high as a kite.  I'm thankful.  I'm humbled.  I'm relieved.  I'm happy.  I'm joyful.  I'm Momma.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."  James 1:17

Don't Stop

Just when you think things are beginning to feel normal again...

...you get whacked in the head with a conviction stick!

We've had the kids just over six months.  It is only now that I can say things feel "normal."  All six of us have fallen into a routine and schedule that suit us all.  We're learning more about what makes each of us tick.  As parents, we're learning even more to anticipate what to expect from our kids.  I'm getting used to a "lived in" but still very clean house and the noise and chaos are something that calms my spirit now instead of something with which I must be patient.  We're really feeling "jelled."

Let Jordan and I both be honest here.  We felt like we've done our part.  We took not one but four children into our family and are providing them with the best life that we are able.  Knowing this, we have ingnored some opportunities to continue to bless others.  We have too regularly used our children as an excuse not to give more of our time or resources.  Now don't get me wrong:  I feel that children are a VERY valid reason not to exhaust your time and resources.  It is a priority of ours to spend quality time with our children and to give them opportunities.  However, that cannot be an excuse not to do more for this world or the people in it.  

Over the past few weeks I have been so strongly convicted that I simply cannot stop doing more.  There are two verses that are very familiar to me that have surfaced recently more times than I can count.

"This is how we know what love is:  Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.  And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.  If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person?  Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth."

- 1 John 3:16-18

"Once our eyes have been opened we can't pretend we don't knwo what to do.  God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know and holds us responsible to act."

- Proverbs 24:12

These verses are not new to me but as of the last few weeks they've held a completely new meaning.  Friends, we cannot let ourselves become complacent.  Shamefully, Jordan and I have allowed ourselves to fall into this way of thinking.  We cannot be satisified with what we are doing.  There is always a chance to give more, to love more, to invest more, to help more.  This can look so different but can make such an impact.

Hear me now:  USS Ames is NOT done.  We have made a vow to NOT stop helping and giving because we have already done so.  That is not a good enough reason to stop.  It will take some creativity.  It will take some energy.  It will take some sacrifice.  But it will change lives.  Every person reading this has our permission to help keep us accountable.  

p.s.  Still no word on the latest court hearing.  We're still waiting but we're hopeful.  Here are some of the latest pictures of the kids.  Please excuse some of my "didn't have time to rotate" pictures.

Face painting at Quantico Fest 2011

Pumpkin Painting

Bug Catching...although they had the bucket they refused to touch the bugs!

My parents and our nephew Tyler came down for a weekend.  The big kids begged Tyler to carve their pumpkins.

So proud of our Student of the Month!




The Ninja






Tinkerbell

Cinderella (plus about three layers!)



Alice in Wonderland
She has NO CLUE who this is but her favorite color is blue so this costume won!








 

Heading to a Halloween Party down the street







After a busy night of Trick-or-Treating.  And yes, the baby is picking her nose :) 



 

Still fighting...but the odds are looking better and better!

Before I go into detail about the court hearing please read this:
We are so very thankful for the unfathomable amount of support we have received.  I was humbled by all the support when the children came to us but am even moreso now.  I simply cannot believe how many people were rallying for us and our children.  I have lost count of the emails, the text messages, facebook comments, cards, phone messages, and gifts...I'm once again blown away.  From Happy Valley to California to Japan to Italy to the Midwest - we are grateful...just grateful.  Once again God has shown us His provision - only in a completely different way.  I am 100% convinced that I have only made it through this past week from the support of each of you - many of whom we don't even know.
I'm also very thankful for the grace you have shown me.  Thank you for not expecting much of me lately.  I have hardly returned one of those messages, comments, cards, or calls.  Please know that each of them were listened to or read and each of them was sincerely appreciated.  Thank you for knowing that I needed them and thank you for giving them without strings attached.  You each have shown so much of Christ's love to us and our children.  Thank you will never be enough.
We are thankful for YOU.

Now for the update:
Long story short, no decision has been made...yet.  But, friends, continue.
There has been a (fortunate for us) turn of events that we didn't quite expect that now have both biological parents in a condition where they are currently unable to care for the children.  Although we truly are sad (though not probably as much as we should be just yet) for them, we are rejoicing that this is the case.  This looks really, really good for us.  As upset as we were that we did not have a court date last month as we had hoped, it was for the best (as we know it always is but don't always believe it to be so).  If the hearing was last month, this turn of events may not have occurred.  PRAISE GOD for his sovreignty.
The judge is pleased that the children are "in a pre-adoptive home, are all together, and are thriving."
Those who are familiar with court (attorney's, caseworkers, etc) do believe that the judge will make a decision soon for the following reasons:
1.  The turn of events that just occurred
2.  The very few questions she asked and little concern she showed in court about the children (she had clearly read all the information sent to her - PRAISE GOD!)
3.  The fact that she scheduled a review hearing in six months from now (we're thinking hoping it won't get to this point and that she'll make a decision before then)

It is our prayer that a decision will be made in the next eight weeks...or even sooner.  I know, I know, that sounds so long.  We're learning that it's not :)  Visits still must occur, but we've been given a little slack with those.  We're only travelling once a month and when it's convenient for us and the children's school schedule.  PRAISE GOD!
This battle is not over, friends.  I will not rest until all the papers are signed and my children legally have our last name.  Please keep praying.  We're still fighting while we keep believing.

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.  We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."
"Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary and what is unseen is eternal."
2 Cor. 4: 7-9, 16-18
Thank you, Erin xox

The (Business) Day Before

I didn't like today so much.  I didn't really like yesterday or the day before so much either.  Today is the day that all parties must have their paperwork complete for the court hearing on Monday.  So, the past three days were spent on the phone and on e-mail with each of the workers involved:  the caseworker from our agency, the caseworker from the children's agency, and the caseworker from Virginia.  I have no problem spending time with them giving every single detail about my kids.  I have absolutely no problem running back to our well-kept records of dates, appointments, milestones, behaviors, etc to ensure that every single detail is correct for Monday's hearing.  I want everything to be perfect for them.  I need everything to be perfect for them. 

I do have a problem thinking about it all.

So, what does a Type-A-hates-to-feel-too-much-emotion do?  She stays busy. This week I have tried to make myself extra busy by doing extra house cleaning, preparing extra meals, planning for Christmas, planning vacations, and anything else to take my mind off of Monday.  I was doing very well just resting in His peace.  I was doing very well until all these well-meaning folks need to know information.  I was doing very well until they try to prepare me for the worst.  You see, talking about it makes me think about it.  I have to sit in the reality of it.
At the last court hearing we weren't at all worried.  This was supposed to be a slam-dunk case.  We heard great positivity from everyone involved.  This time, however, it is quite different.  We hear the "let's try to stay positive" sort of comments.  I hate hearing those.  I know what they mean.  I've said them to patients and patients' families before.  You say that when you really have no bloody idea how things are going to turn out.  You say it with sensitivity and hope because you really do care, but nonetheless you just don't know.  Believe you me, I'd much rather be in my lab coat telling my patient to stay positive than be in my bath robe having someone tell that to me.
The part that I don't like the most about this week is that Jordan has been away since Sunday and won't return until Sunday.  I do quite well when he's not here...which is a heck of a lot in his current program.  The kids and I manage fine:  the house stays clean, the meals are still prepared, and everything and everyone is accounted for.  Don't get me wrong - I'd much prefer him around.  I do love that fellow and love it when he's home.  We've just learned to pray for him while he's away and seize every possible moment with him when he's home.  We eagerly count the "sleeps" until Daddy returns again and when he does...watch out - we're selfish!  He is a good man. 
Along with my Dad, Jordan is the most reasonable and level-headed man that I know.  I love the fact that he isn't overly emotional.  I love the fact that he actually thinks with his head before acting or speaking.  I love the fact that he is always grounded despite the situation.  I need that (I think most women do).  This week I miss that.  So thank you to all of you who have filled-in in his absence by allowing me to stay busy with you, by not making me talk about it, by following my lead if I did, and for all the sweet notes, emails, and cards.  I appreciate it and I know he does too.
The hearing is scheduled for 1:30 pm on Monday.  It is a block schedule, though.  This means that it could be heard at 1:30, it could be heard at 3:00.  Regardless, I have made the caseworker who will be present at the hearing promise to call me AS SOON AS she comes out of court.  There is a decent-sized chance that the entire case won't be heard on Monday and they'll have to reconvene on Tuesday. I'm okay with that. Don't worry, she'll still call me on Monday.  We are praying for a decision to be made at the conclusion of the hearing.  Good or bad, we do not want these children to remain in the purgatory-like foster system.  Pray however God leads you to pray.  There are so many different angles.  Just pray for my kids.









15 Pages of Love

The court hearing is in less than two weeks.  A heartfelt thank you goes to everyone who is praying.

There is some good news, however.  We were sent paperwork from the court giving us the opportunity to submit a report on the children's adjustment, behavior, and conditions.  These reports will be distributed to all parties involved in the hearing.  The paperwork has some very specific questions to answer about each child as well as an "open comment" section where we have the opportunity to speak freely (the poor fools, they obviously didn't know to whom they were sending these papers - haha!).

Jordan and I spent literally hours filling out these forms and commenting freely.  We tried our best to include every possible thing we could think of regarding the children.  Thankfully, my Type-A self has kept impeccable records...see, I knew that part of me would come in handy some day :)

What we ask now is that as I am about to overnight this paperwork in just a few minutes that you pray for every set of eyes that read this.  Pray that they feel the love we have for our children radiate right off the very paper on which it is printed.  Pray that their hearts are softened and open to the needs of these children - whatever they may be.  Also, please pray that a decision is made at the end of the hearing so that this does not need to be drawn out any longer.

Just so you know a little about what we are up against, I'll copy in our closing paragraph from the 15 page, single-spaced word document (whew!):

"We understand and are sympathetic to the union and reunion of families.  However, it is clear to us and to all others who have met these children that their lifestyle of inconsistency and uncertainty has been detrimental to their well-being.  These children have not had ANY consistency in their life (please refer to the list of all the homes and moves they’ve endured) and this is clearly evidenced by their behaviors and insecurities.  Since becoming a part of our family we have dedicated 100% of ourselves to these children and their emotional, physical, academic, spiritual,  and social growth.  They have thrived in a home where all their needs are regularly met, where they are permitted to explore various interests and activities, and where a schedule has been maintained.  They have been provided with multiple opportunities and experiences such as but not limited to:  family vacations to the beach, amusement parks, hiking, swimming, gymnastics, jujitsu, Sunday school, boating, picnicking, church, and play groups.  They are being taught to be a responsible citizen and an irreplaceable family member.  We enjoy “doing life” with them so they can understand the value of everyday chores and activities such as:  cooking, cleaning, shopping, lawn care, laundry, and pet care.  They are a valued member of our family and we strive to make that known to them in words and actions.  They are also valued as a child of God, of which we also equally strive to make them aware.  We dearly and deeply love these four children.  It is our daily prayer and hope that any decision made for them will ultimately be in their best interest only.  If these children are not permitted to remain with us, we implore you to ensure ALL their needs continue to be met, appointments be maintained, and consistency be at the forefront of their lifestyle."

While we wait for this hearing, Jordan and I are trying to squeeze in any extra hugs, kisses, and love that we can.  I often find myself peeking in on them at night more than I usually do, taking an extra sniff of their hair, or holding their hand just a tad bit longer...just incase.

First Day of School - aren't they gorgeous.  I know I'm biased
but these are some beautiful kids!

 Her beauty captivates me.

 My two little pretty gymnasts.

She ate nearly three full apples!

 I know, but she's so photogenic...and beautiful.

Mr. Man with his sugar fix.

The six of us after apple picking in the rain!