We have been so incredibly blessed to have such a strong support system from our family and friends during this adoption process. Jordan and I couldn't be more thankful for all the prayers and encouraging words. But...yes, there is always a but...but every now and then you come across someone who isn't on board with the notion that we are adopting. That's okay - they don't have to be. However, when they start to raise their eyebrows or make truly innocent and concerning comments about "those kids in the system" my blood pressure goes up a bit as does the hair on my back, my teeth start to show and I'd really just like to growl at them - just like a Mama Grizzly does (thank you, Sarah Palin).
We are fully aware that our kids will likely come with a bit more baggage than a newborn does. That's only natural. If you live longer than a minute, you're going to come with baggage. But when some people question us or wonder why we would ever want to adopt when we could potentially have our own children with treatments I can't help but feel defensive.
Even though we don't know quite yet who they are, they are mine. I take it very personally when anyone makes any comment that is the slightest bit from being 110% supportive. I can't help it - those are my kids and to me, they are already perfect. Whoever they are, whatever package they come in, whatever skill set they have...they are mine, all mine, and they are perfect.
I've had to work hard on accepting the fact that this decision may not be embraced by everyone. That's okay - it does't make me like that person any less or think badly of that person. In fact, one year ago I was that person. Hearts can change - this I know. Once they see my little buggers and love them up they'll have no choice but to fall in love with them. Until they do, though, watch out for the Mama Grizzly in me!
Monday, November 29, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
Faith In Action
I'm not sure how many of you prayed your "It's 5 o'clock Somewhere" prayer today (read the previous blog if you don't know what I'm talking about), but as Jordan and I wondered where all the money would come from to get these kids everything they need (mattresses, bedroom furniture, clothes, toys, etc) we decided to save as best as we could and know that we'd be okay in the end. Well, we received an unexpected refund check in the mail today from PSU stating that we have overpaid each semester. That will surely help us out...how awesome!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
I'm Tall Enough...
...please stop stretching me!
If ever I have felt the growing pains of faith, it sure is now. You know, I thought I knew what it felt to grow and mature - both in life and in faith - but this is a completely different monster. I'll be the first to admit that I like to rely on myself. I like knowing that I can plan myself through anything life throws at me. In fact, I have done this successfully for 28 years. However, now it is a different story. My Type-A, over-acheiving, perfectly-planning, detail-oriented, nothing-can-get-the-best-of-me personality is being shaken around like a little rag doll. I am being stretched in ways I didn't know I could be. To be quite honest, I'm not always enjoying it either; it hurts.
Over that past 17 months I have personally developed a new definition of the word faith. Aside from the fact that we have been waiting for children, I truly think God has used this time in my life to teach me about faith. Before, I'd like to say that I had faith, and I know that I did, but not in the way that I do now. Before this whole process my faith was very religiously based. What I mean by that is I would tell you that I had faith I was going to heaven because of my salvation, I had faith that God keeps His promises, I had faith that what the Bible said was true, etc., etc. But my faith was not life based. I always kept a degree of control in my own hands by preparing for anything that may come up: I studied hard in school so I would get good grades, I strategically planned my major with internships and shadowing so I would get a good job, I saved my money and kept a tight budget so I could pay all my bills, etc...get the picture? Everything that I did, I had some degree of control in the matter.
Let me tell you folks, I have had NO CONTROL over our family-planning. If you have heard how we came to the decision to adopt you'll remember it took me a good 6 months to come to truly accept that we were being called to do this. But now...now...I can't think of it any other way. I have had to live out the faith I thought I had. I always have been a fast learner but in this case I am not. Why? Because I have had to let go of the control I have always liked to keep. For me, true faith is knowing that I can trust God to work this process through to perfect completion AND letting Him do it His way. Whew, I said it...I admitted it. And now I am learning it...every single day since August 2009 I am learning it in a new and very real way. (Don't worry, I'm still a very happy plan whatever I can kind of person...exhibit A: the excel spreadsheet I have of everything we will need to do and buy for the kids - hehehe)
There are days, more often than not, that I am physically exhausted just from feeling feelings. Both my body and my mind are tired. I'm overwhelmed with a myriad of feelings that change by the hour. I am constantly praying for the health and safety of our children, I am earnestly praying for a perfect match, and I am ceaselessly begging for a speedy adoption. To top it off we might hear great, exciting news one day and then not hear anything for days. We might find a group we really like and then find out they are no longer available. We've been presented with groups that are very different from others we have had before, we're putting our life on hold without trying to put our life on hold waiting for these kids - our kids. The ups and downs of this process are unreal.
What I do know, though, is that when they come, they will be the perfect kids for us and they'll come at the perfect time for us. I am confident in this. I find peace and comfort in this. But I still want my babies soon - preferably by Christmas...which leads me to my next point:
There still is a small chance that we can be matched with our kids before Christmas. As the time gets shorter, the bigger the miracle it will have to be. It can happen - it still can happen. We read these verses in church this morning (thank you, Pastor Dan) and I came up with an idea. We'll call it:
"It's 5 o'clock Somewhere..."
The verses read: "...You also joining in helping us through your prayers, so that thanks may be given by many persons on our behalf for the favor bestowed on us through the prayers of many." 2 Corinthians 1:11
Whether you are the praying sort of person or the not praying sort of person, I at least know that you are the "we love Sarah and Jordan" sort of person. So, we're asking you that at 5:00 each day (either am or pm) shoot up a little prayer for us and our kids. It can be short or long, loud or quiet, quick or slow, English or Spanish...either way, I know it will get to the right person! If your not sure what to say, let us give you some ideas:
- health and safety of our kids
- happiness of our kids
- perfect matching process
- continued patience for the process
- match before Christmas (Sarah's selfish wish)
- thanks for all of the support we have from family and friends - Yes, we are so thankful for each of you!
- preparation of us for when the kids come: emotionally, logistically, financially, etc.
- thanks for our caseworker's endless emails and phone calls
- wisdom for all caseworkers involved
- thanks in advance for the perfect match at the perfect time
We thank you in advance for participating in the "It's 5 o'clock somewhere prayer" for us and our kids. We know that only great things can come from this. You'll see...I sure have!
Until we update again, I'll meet you at 5:00 (yes, Sheldon, I"ll be up with you at 5:00 am!). Maybe, just maybe I'll have my babies for Christmas...
If ever I have felt the growing pains of faith, it sure is now. You know, I thought I knew what it felt to grow and mature - both in life and in faith - but this is a completely different monster. I'll be the first to admit that I like to rely on myself. I like knowing that I can plan myself through anything life throws at me. In fact, I have done this successfully for 28 years. However, now it is a different story. My Type-A, over-acheiving, perfectly-planning, detail-oriented, nothing-can-get-the-best-of-me personality is being shaken around like a little rag doll. I am being stretched in ways I didn't know I could be. To be quite honest, I'm not always enjoying it either; it hurts.
Over that past 17 months I have personally developed a new definition of the word faith. Aside from the fact that we have been waiting for children, I truly think God has used this time in my life to teach me about faith. Before, I'd like to say that I had faith, and I know that I did, but not in the way that I do now. Before this whole process my faith was very religiously based. What I mean by that is I would tell you that I had faith I was going to heaven because of my salvation, I had faith that God keeps His promises, I had faith that what the Bible said was true, etc., etc. But my faith was not life based. I always kept a degree of control in my own hands by preparing for anything that may come up: I studied hard in school so I would get good grades, I strategically planned my major with internships and shadowing so I would get a good job, I saved my money and kept a tight budget so I could pay all my bills, etc...get the picture? Everything that I did, I had some degree of control in the matter.
Let me tell you folks, I have had NO CONTROL over our family-planning. If you have heard how we came to the decision to adopt you'll remember it took me a good 6 months to come to truly accept that we were being called to do this. But now...now...I can't think of it any other way. I have had to live out the faith I thought I had. I always have been a fast learner but in this case I am not. Why? Because I have had to let go of the control I have always liked to keep. For me, true faith is knowing that I can trust God to work this process through to perfect completion AND letting Him do it His way. Whew, I said it...I admitted it. And now I am learning it...every single day since August 2009 I am learning it in a new and very real way. (Don't worry, I'm still a very happy plan whatever I can kind of person...exhibit A: the excel spreadsheet I have of everything we will need to do and buy for the kids - hehehe)
There are days, more often than not, that I am physically exhausted just from feeling feelings. Both my body and my mind are tired. I'm overwhelmed with a myriad of feelings that change by the hour. I am constantly praying for the health and safety of our children, I am earnestly praying for a perfect match, and I am ceaselessly begging for a speedy adoption. To top it off we might hear great, exciting news one day and then not hear anything for days. We might find a group we really like and then find out they are no longer available. We've been presented with groups that are very different from others we have had before, we're putting our life on hold without trying to put our life on hold waiting for these kids - our kids. The ups and downs of this process are unreal.
What I do know, though, is that when they come, they will be the perfect kids for us and they'll come at the perfect time for us. I am confident in this. I find peace and comfort in this. But I still want my babies soon - preferably by Christmas...which leads me to my next point:
There still is a small chance that we can be matched with our kids before Christmas. As the time gets shorter, the bigger the miracle it will have to be. It can happen - it still can happen. We read these verses in church this morning (thank you, Pastor Dan) and I came up with an idea. We'll call it:
"It's 5 o'clock Somewhere..."
The verses read: "...You also joining in helping us through your prayers, so that thanks may be given by many persons on our behalf for the favor bestowed on us through the prayers of many." 2 Corinthians 1:11
Whether you are the praying sort of person or the not praying sort of person, I at least know that you are the "we love Sarah and Jordan" sort of person. So, we're asking you that at 5:00 each day (either am or pm) shoot up a little prayer for us and our kids. It can be short or long, loud or quiet, quick or slow, English or Spanish...either way, I know it will get to the right person! If your not sure what to say, let us give you some ideas:
- health and safety of our kids
- happiness of our kids
- perfect matching process
- continued patience for the process
- match before Christmas (Sarah's selfish wish)
- thanks for all of the support we have from family and friends - Yes, we are so thankful for each of you!
- preparation of us for when the kids come: emotionally, logistically, financially, etc.
- thanks for our caseworker's endless emails and phone calls
- wisdom for all caseworkers involved
- thanks in advance for the perfect match at the perfect time
We thank you in advance for participating in the "It's 5 o'clock somewhere prayer" for us and our kids. We know that only great things can come from this. You'll see...I sure have!
Until we update again, I'll meet you at 5:00 (yes, Sheldon, I"ll be up with you at 5:00 am!). Maybe, just maybe I'll have my babies for Christmas...
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Whirlwind Weekend
What a beautiful weekend - both in weather and activities! We had the 235th Marine Corps Birthday Ball on Friday night at the Penn Stater Conference Center. We had a blast with some genuine people. I'll tell you what, I just feel so proud when I look at all the Marines in their dress blues interacting with each other. The MECEPS at Penn State are some terrific guys, the ones that you can just say "they are good people." Each one of them is personable, respectful, considerate...I could continue for hours. Over the past three years I have had the privilege spending some time with them at various functions. Each time I see them I can't help but love them more and more. The bonus is that some of them have as equally wonderful wives with whom I have been able to spend time with as well. I know I am biased...terribly biased, but these Marines are A-Class people. Below are some pictures from the ball (yes, I know, they are quite a handsome bunch as well!).
MECEP wives: Tiffiney Dierling, Me, Susannah Smith, Bethany Koshuta, and Satoko Houck
Top: Sgt. Kevin Smith, SSgt. Brendon Houck, SSgt. Jordan Ames, 2ndLt. Jeff Dierling, SSgt. Jon Koshuta
Bottom: Sgt. Veronica Gietzon, Sgt. Joe Stradley, GySgt. Claudio Casanova
Jordan and I
Top: Sgt. Kevin Smith, Major ?? (Ret.), SSgt. Matt Nevins, SSgt. Jon Koshuta, Sgt. Jeff Homza, Sgt. Veronica Gietzon
Bottom: SSgt. Jordan Ames, Sgt. Joe Stradley, GySgt. Claudio Casanova
*Aren't they the most handsome bunch you've ever seen?
Seven Mountains Wine Cellar
On Saturday my cousin, Jamie Hershey-Showers, and her husband, Bernie, came up for the day. We had such a wonderful time catching up, reminiscing, and just relaxing. We spend the first half of our day at Seven Mountains Wine Cellar which is only about 10 miles from our house. It has quickly become a favorite hang out for me and Jordan. I can't help but give them some advertisement. The owners, MaryAnn and Scott, are wonderful, salt-of-the-earth, people. Each and every experience we have had at Seven Mountains gets better and better. To top it off, their wine is truly THE BEST wine I have ever tasted. If you are a wine-lover, let us know and we'd absolutely love have you up and take you there. It's truly an experience you'll remember forever!
Part of our wine-tasting with Jamie and Bernie
Although Jordan and I know what each of the wines taste like, we still always have to taste again with our guests! The best part is this: There is NO CHARGE for wine tasting. In fact, they encourage you to taste the entire selection (about 30 different wines). We can't say enough about Seven Mountains or its owners.
After the tasting we came back to play with Brooke and watch the Penn State vs. Ohio State game. At half-time we were so excited about the game we packed up and went out to experience the "State College rowdiness" during such a great game. But...we were sorely disappointed.....poor Lions...
We came home to find our bed all messed-up just so Princess Brooke could get cozy and comfortable in her Mom and Dad's bed (she often does that). I just love that little dog!
As far as the adoption goes: We're still waiting. We have a few more groups on our list, which I'll update later. I'm feeling excited in my bones now. Maybe it's because something is going to happen soon...or...maybe it's just because I want something to happen soon. Either way, continue to pray for a speedy and perfect match. We are so ready to love on and smush up our kids. It's so strange how we feel so much love for them but don't even know who they are - soon, though, maybe soon!
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Still Chugging Along
As we continue through the matching process we have more sibling groups taken off of our possibility list for one reason or another. We also, though, have a few new groups added onto the list. I thought I'd just post the names so you can look over them, think about who they might be, who they might become, and so you can pray for them. We pray all the children on this list find their "forever family" but most importantly we pray that a group of children soon become part of our forever family. Here is the updated list as of today. You'll notice quite a few new names and you'll also notice a few names from previous lists as those groups still are possible matches.
Jennifer and Carrie (our first double female group)
Issac, Jeremiah, and Gabrielle (a pretty young group)
Mercedie and Emerson
Jennifer and Richard
Keola and August (both male)
Rae, Lee, and Chase (all very young boys)
Wesley and Elisha
Juwon and Tyrek
Dior and Dayvon
Arrien and Quentin
Donald and Dionte
I'd like to say that time is ticking away until Christmas, and it is, but we all know that we're not on our time line. We want the kids before Christmas for selfish reasons - both for them and for us. However, most importantly we want this to be a thorough process with the outcome being in the best interest of the kids and of us. Our caseworker, Jess, has been so wonderful and patient through this whole process. She seems to really understand my need to "stay in the know" and to gather as much information as possible. Kudos to her and our adoption agency (Hope for Kids, Inc) for being so proactive, supportive, and informative. We also have to shout out to my Uncle Keith who was able to get us in contact with the woman who oversees the entire office of adoption for the state. She was gracious enough to spend time with us on the phone. Basically, she let us know that we're right on track and Hope For Kids, Inc couldn't be doing a better job! She's a wonderful woman with such a large heart.
For now, continue praying for patience for us, the wisdom of all caseworkers involved, and a perfect (and still speedy!) match. Even if these kids don't come to us in time for Christmas, it will sure be like Christmas whenever they come!
Jennifer and Carrie (our first double female group)
Issac, Jeremiah, and Gabrielle (a pretty young group)
Mercedie and Emerson
Jennifer and Richard
Keola and August (both male)
Rae, Lee, and Chase (all very young boys)
Wesley and Elisha
Juwon and Tyrek
Dior and Dayvon
Arrien and Quentin
Donald and Dionte
I'd like to say that time is ticking away until Christmas, and it is, but we all know that we're not on our time line. We want the kids before Christmas for selfish reasons - both for them and for us. However, most importantly we want this to be a thorough process with the outcome being in the best interest of the kids and of us. Our caseworker, Jess, has been so wonderful and patient through this whole process. She seems to really understand my need to "stay in the know" and to gather as much information as possible. Kudos to her and our adoption agency (Hope for Kids, Inc) for being so proactive, supportive, and informative. We also have to shout out to my Uncle Keith who was able to get us in contact with the woman who oversees the entire office of adoption for the state. She was gracious enough to spend time with us on the phone. Basically, she let us know that we're right on track and Hope For Kids, Inc couldn't be doing a better job! She's a wonderful woman with such a large heart.
For now, continue praying for patience for us, the wisdom of all caseworkers involved, and a perfect (and still speedy!) match. Even if these kids don't come to us in time for Christmas, it will sure be like Christmas whenever they come!
Monday, November 1, 2010
A Day In the Life of an Ames!
As we were looking over the pictures from our camera (a few months worth!) we thought we'd post some fun pictures. Maybe, just maybe, a caseworker out there will stumble across our blog and see how much fun we have and send some kids our way! So, without further delay here is "A Day in the Life of an Ames:"
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Aunt Kayla's Graduation Day
(Grammy, Grandpa, Aunt Kayla, Mommy Sarah and Daddy Jordan)
Aunt Annie and I at the Bloomsburg Fair
Aunt Sarah and Uncle Jordan with Baby Abby on her Baptism
Tommy the T-Rex with his Aunt Tina (that's what he calls me) on his first Halloween
This is what happens when Grandpa gets the camera!
This is what happens when Aunt Kayla gets the camera!
Daddy Jordan, Pappy, and Uncle Bobby on their cross-country motorcycle trip
(yes, the motorcycle is now gone!)
I'll try to update this site with some more "A Day In the Life" pictures as we load more on the camera. Surely with the holidays approaching we'll have some good photo-ops! As far as the adoption goes we don't have any exciting news yet. A few more leads and a few more groups off the list - such is par for the course lately. Stay tuned, we're hoping for some big news soon!
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