All Settled

Goodness, friends, it's been too long.  All I can say is:  What a journey!  These last 8 weeks (yes, our children have been here for 8 weeks already as of this weekend) have absolutely flown by in the blink of an eye.  I'm not quite sure where to start with this update but I'll do my best to re-cap.

1.  The children moved in April 16.

  **Thank you to everyone for all your love, support, dinners, donations, phone calls, emails, etc.  I have finally finished all my thank you notes and they are going in the mail tomorrow.  This is truly a small miracle in itself :)

2.  Jordan was commissioned on May 13 and we had a weekend-long bash celebrating with family and friends.

**Thank you to all who came to the different events of that weekend.  Those blasted thank you notes are next on my list (I'm now wishing I had children who could write something other than their name...haha)

3.  We moved out of our home in State College (we are sad about this - we LOVE the town, the people, the church, our neighbors, etc) on May 27.

**Thank you go all who helped move us out of the little shoe box that we called home.

4.  We stayed with  my parents for the entire next week and visited with family and friends in Harrisburg.

**Thanks Mom and Dad for allowing your house to be invaded for a week...and for footing the grocery bill for 6 extra people! (and sorry, Dad, for all the little toys your poor feet stepped on that your poor eyes couldn't see!)

5.  June 4 we moved to Quantico, VA into a spacious home on a lovely piece of land that fits the seven of us beautifully (we always include Brookie in our count!)

**Thank you to everyone for your help moving us into our  new home and helping us with dinners, unpacking, and kid-entertaining.

As of today, every box is unpacked, every closet and shelf is organized, and my house is cleaned from top to bottom.  I am looking forward to my days now.  I can slow down a bit, enjoy my kids a little more, and really start living life a bit better.  Since the day we found out we were getting the children, only 10 weeks ago, I felt like I have been packing and unpacking every day since.  I'm glad that is over and I am glad we are settled.  

So, before I post some cute pictures of my babies, I'll get to the meat.  An important court hearing was held this past Thursday and Friday that will ultimately determine our children's future.  The judge delayed making a decision at this time.  From what we understand it could take a few weeks up to a few months for us to receive this decision.  To be quite honest with you, I haven't allowed myself to be affected by this.  I am very ashamed to admit this but feel that I need to:  the thought of these children ever leaving my side, let alone my home is unbearable to me.  I  have guarded my heart (not that way God intended me to guard it in Proverbs 4:23) by putting up my defenses.  It deeply saddens me to admit that the closest I got to praying for this was "Dear God, I can't even think about this so I'm not going to pray about -just protect my babies."  You see, the more I would even begin to think about it the more my body would ache and I would sense my mood going sour.  Perhaps it's a good thing I was so busy unpacking and organizing...perhaps it wasn't.  Regardless, I do regret not staying on my knees every minute of those entire days.  But I do know that my God understands my heart and loves me inspite of my selfishness.  I was only protecting my own feelings and not doing what I should have (this is NOT an excuse!).  But I also know that my God is watching out for my babies and has great plans for them.  I'm stuck in this small story in our small life (but thankfully much bigger home) and cannot see His grand picture (as I refer back to my previous post about the art picture and say to myself "Practice what you preach, missy.")

Please know that the judge not making a decision is NOT necessarily a bad thing.  Jordan and I were just hoping for good news right away.  From what we understand it is common for judges in these types of cases to take some time to make a decision.  We should know more this week after we talk to various caseworkers.  I am glad, though, that I have a second chance to go where I need to go - on my knees.  You can bet the farm that I've learned my lesson.  Regret hurts a lot more than a sad heart.  But, enough of that.  Please just pray for us.  Pray for discernment for the judge.  Pray for the protection of my babies.  Pray for the future of my babies.  I know many of you got to meet them and I know I am biased, but they sure are a great bunch of kids.

Now, for the happy stuff:  PICTURES!

They LOVE putting coins in their animal banks...mostly because they make noise when you do!

My beautiful butterfly - She LOVES dress-up, make-up, and grown-ups!

Water Baby - Don't let her fool you with those innocent eyes!

Our son, the fish.  This child can't get enough of the outside.  He loves all sports and has a new love of swimming.

My "Great Pretender" - This child has an imagination like none other.  She is ALWAYS creating or making something.

A trip to Chocolate World

Brooke has gracefully resigned herself to being the horse, the cat, the dog, the baby, the dress-up  mannequin, etc. 

Tractor rides with Uncle Buddy - don't worry, the blade is OFF

Taking a rest on our walk (approx 20 yards from our front door)

The Ames

Practicing in Grammy's tanbark for the real sand at the beach this summer.

At Jon's Commissioning with the girls - our poor buddy had to miss this since he was at school - bummer!

Jordan's Commissioning

That is just a small glimpse of our life in the past 8 weeks.  Things sure are different.  I always was a type A personality - you all know that.  At first I tried to be what I like to call "Type A 1/2" when the kids came but that didn't work.  Both myself and my kids thrive on schedule and routine.  We have certain rituals, rules, and ways that just don't change or we get ourselves out of sorts.  In my head (a scary place at times) I tell myself this is normal.  After all, even though my kids are older, I am still a new mother and we've only had 2 months together.  Everyday I am still learning about their personalities, likes, dislikes, interests, etc.  If none of us have to worry about what is going to come next in our day or what is expected of us at certain times then we all can spend that extra energy still getting to know each other.  Little things pop up all the time that we just didn't have time to cover in only 8 very busy weeks.  For instance just tonight my  5 year old asked me "Mom, when can we cuddle?"  I said "cuddle, what do you  mean?"  She said, "You know, you hold me under the covers and just hug and read stories."  I had NO IDEA this child ever desired anything like this...or when my seven year old asked me why I don't buy him pineapples to eat...or when my three year old  told me she hates the socks that don't fold down...or when my 2 year old after 7 weeks of putting her to bed with music on at nap finally said in her little baby voice "Mommy, turn that off."  Every day since I have asked her if she wants music and she says "No music." (I still cringe at this - I can't imagine a child of mine not wanting to listen to music!)  All these little things that every good mother knows, I am still learning.  And I intend to have a lifetime to do it.

We can't thank you all enough for what you've each meant to us.  I'll never stop thanking you all for helping make this miracle happen.  

Welcome, Sweet Children

Hi there, friends.  It sure as been a while since my last post.  I had such great intentions so many times of updating sooner than now...haha, time has a whole new meaning these days.
Let me give a quick synopsis of how quick the last month has been for us.  We were notified on March 29, 2011 that we were matched with four children.  That Saturday, April 2, we met them for the first time.  The following weekend we had an overnight visit with them in Hershey, PA.  Then, the next weekend they moved in to our home.  So, if you're doing the math, we had 18 days to prepare our home for four children.  Holy Cow!  Kids need so much stuff (I'm sure all you seasoned moms out there are just snickering right now)!  I kid you not - we spent every waking hour rushing to stores, filling out paperwork, organizing, and packing.  Thank you all SO MUCH for all the support you've given to us in preparing for these children.  So many people...even people I have never met, were beyond generous (Thank you notes are coming soon, I promise!).  You were all so giving of yourselves for the sake of our precious children and we are yet again beyond humbled.  The amount of sacrifice that has been shown by all of you leaves us speechless.  We cannot wait for the day our children will be old enough to truly understand this huge love story.  The Lord saw a need to place these children with us and you all helped us receive these precious gifts into our lives.  Thank you.
So - It's April 16th and we have the children...and we've been moving non-stop ever since.  I think May is the busiest month of my life...EVER.  Not only did the children move in (along with all the time and energy they require) but we must keep up with all the paperwork and various appointments during this transition, we have Jordan's graduation, Jordan's commissioning, our Very Ames Celebration Party, and we're moving to VA.  Whew!  Our plates are full but our hearts are overflowing with joy.
So the moment you've all been waiting for:  Meet our Children:

(We're still keeping the names off for now)



They are such precious gifts.  We love learning about each of their personalities.  Our son reminds me of the boy from the Sound of Music:  he wants so badly to be independent but still craves love and attention from his parents.  He is an excellent reader, a new bike rider, a vegetable eater, and a talker!  Our oldest daughter (on the right) is my little shadow.  She loves to help do anything:  fold laundry, cook, vacuum, feed the dog.  She loves to be a part of anything that is going on around her.  She's such a tiny little one but she is brave.  Our middle daughter (on the left) is our imaginative child.  She loves to pretend just about anything.  She can have 5 minute conversations with her dolls while she is "teaching them in school."  She's strong-willed and opinionated but sweet and cuddly.  Our youngest daughter (middle) sure is our baby and she'll remind you of that by saying "I'm da baby."  She has a great vocabulary for only just turning two and understands most everything we say.  She likes to be held and LOVES her baby dolls.
It's been quite a ride we have many things to work through (legally and with adjustments) so please don't leave us out of your prayers.  We continually pray that God's grace will just cover our children and fill all the needs that we can't.
Thank you again, really.  Jordan and I will never be able to express how thankful we are for your prayers, your love, your gifts, and your time.  I promise you that we will always remember your kindness and generousity.

Hodge-Podge

What a week!  We have been going non-stop preparing for our kids.  Our home and lifestyle were not equipped to bring four children them so quickly but boy are we getting there...beds, furniture, clothes, toys, etc.  You name it, we need it...and are getting it...quickly!

This blog is a hodge-podge of updates so please bear with me:

1.  We met our children for the first time this past Saturday.  They are just as sweet as the caseworkers made them out to be.  It is so very clear to us how badly and desperately they will need positive love and attention.  Once they realized we were a source of that they were all over us.  These sweet, sweet babies are craving structure and love - which we fully intend on giving them.  We get to have an overnight with them this weekend.  It is Military Day at HersheyPark on Sunday.  We've rented a hotel in the area for Saturday - Sunday so we can take them to Chocolate World on Saturday evening and then to HersheyPark on Sunday.  The rest of the timeline is as follows:  the following weekend (April 15-17) they will be spending the entire weekend with us.  Then, they must go back just for a few days (bummer).  When we pick them up on April 21, 2011 they will be staying with us for good.  Praise God!

2.  There are some legal issues that still are mildly concerning to us.  Please pray  that this adoption will be finalized without any disruption.  Pray this every single day.  Just because our children are in our house does not mean they are fully ours until we have our court hearing and the adoption is finalized.  We prayed so hard to get them here and now we must continue praying to keep them here.  We constantly remind ourselves that "this battle is the LORD's" and that He is in total control.  He only wants the best for us and our four babies, and thus, we must place our unwavering faith and trust in Him and His power. 

3.  Humbled. Jordan and I are nearly brought to tears over the outpouring of love and support.  I know I've said this quite a few times throughout this process but each time I say it we mean it more and more deeply.  We are thankful for each and every single one of you AND each and every single gesture of kindness:  emails, phone calls, cards, notes, gifts, financial support, set-up help, advice, etc.  We have even had gifts and support from complete strangers who don't know us or our kids but have heard of their story and their fresh start to life.  We always knew people were good...but we truly had no idea how good until now.  We always knew God was faithful...but we truly had no idea how faithful until now. 

"The Rock:  His works are perfect,and the way He works is fair and just; A God you can depend upon, no exceptions, a straight-arrow God." - Deuteronomy 32:4 (The Message)

If that doesn't give you peace, what can?  We'll be in touch, friends.  Next time you hear from me hopefully all the furniture will be here, we'll have our home secured down in Quantico, and we'll be even closer to having our babies move in.

p.s.  We're not comfortable posting pictures or sharing names in cyberspace just yet.  If you'd like pictures/names, etc. just email me and I"ll get them to you:  amessj23@hotmail.com

And Then There Were Six

Today is the day we received the phone call that changed our lives...

We are matched!!

We are going to be the parents of four (yes, I know, four!) beautiful children.  Our son is 6, and our daughters are 4, 3, and 2.  Because of some legal work that first must be done we can't yet share their names but don't worry, as soon as we can we will. 

They are the most beautiful children.  They have a lovely bronzed skin tone, striking jet black hair.  The girls all have curly hair too, just like me!  Their features are petite and tiny, their teeth are white as snow, and their smiles go from ear to ear.

We're going to meet them for the first time next week.  We're not sure what date yet, the caseworkers (ours and theirs) are working on that as we speak.  They could be living with us in the next 2-3 weeks if the visits work well.

As you can imagine my head is spinning off of my very neck.  I'll post again later once we have some affairs in order.  In the meantime, please pray that this transition goes smoothly and seamlessly.  Pray especially for the sake of our children fragile hearts but also for our hearts (which are beating out of our very chests).

I'll post again soon, but now I'm most excited to repost the verse that is my theme verse for this blog:

"Every good and perfect gift is from above..."  James 1:17

The Un-Update

I sure wish I had some news to share...good or bad.  Right now, though, we don't have any.  Consider this your Not-Really-An-Update-Update.

The agency/county from our first interview (the group of four) wanted to have their decision made by two Fridays ago (March 4).  Some unforseen or forseen (we don't know) events have occurred that did not let them meet that deadline.  They have been in contact with our caseworker and are very apologetic that a decision hasn't been made yet.  They assured Jess as soon as a decision was made as to which family is matched with the kids that they would let her know.  We're still waiting for some news on this one.  Apparently this isn't completely uncommon with this sort of case.  Things come up and can change easily.  We're just waiting to find out if we're lucky enough to love on these little buggers.

The second agency/county from our second interview (the group of three) should have finished interviewing other families by this point.  All we are waiting on is to hear when our next interview (Round 2) is with them.  They had set a goal for the Round 2 Interview to be held in the month of March.  They made it clear that this was only a goal and it could be pushed into April.  Hopefully they'll soon let us know and we can keep moving forward with these loves.

We're holding up in the Ames in house.  We are weary of waiting but now we're in a place of peace, a place we haven't really been in a while.  Recently, as we talked through this whole process we realized how much we were not in control.  Everything single thing that we thought would, could, or might happen a certain way did not.  In that place of having no control we can clearly see how it did indeed all work out okay and in some places worked out even better than we thought.  I never really thought I'd say this but there is real freedom in letting go of the need to control.  Please hear what I am not saying:  I am not saying that you shouldn't do what you can when you can.  I am saying that when you do what you can when you can, leave it at that.  Stop worrying.  Stop double checking.  Stop feeling anxious.  Stop bad attitudes.  Stop wondering why something didn't happen.

And start seeking and thanking the One who knows what he is doing all the time.

It's no secret that I like to maintain control in my life.  I like to plan, I like to organize, I like to be prepared, I like things my way in my time.  I truly don't believe these qualities are bad qualities.  In fact, they often come in handy.  When these qualities are bad and actually harmful is when I think that they are above the ways of God's perfect plan. 

A week ago as I was praying for my friends a word picture was given to me that I shared with them.  Picture this with me if you can:  a beautiful piece of artwork.  Any piece, just pick a piece.  I like Monet so I think of "Water Lily Pond."  If you take just one small portion of the artwork it doesn't look like much.  In fact, you won't even be able to tell what it is.  It may be a dark color, it may be a light color.  It may have no color.  It may be pretty or it may be ugly.  If that's all you can see, though, you'll likely base your feelings of the work on that one tiny little section.  If you have the ability to step back...waaaaaay back...and see the whole entire piece you'll clearly see how that little small portion fits perfectly into the big picture...the big beautiful picture.

After I prayed that for my friends it dawned on me:  Sarah, take your own bloody advice for once.  At that point it all kind of came together.  I don't need to see the whole big picture.  I know it's there and I know it's beautiful and that should be enough for me.  And that, my friends, is how peace came to me.

I still am weary and I still would love to have my kids but now is just a bit different.  It doesn't come naturally and isn't always easy to remain peaceful but it sure feels better this way (plus, I like having some sleep back!).  To those of you who have helped me get here by praying, encouraging, talking, and just sticking with me through  my mess of moods, consider this one great big thank you (especially to Jordan, Mom and Daddy).

My moral tonight is this:  please know that if you are in a situation where you are anxious, worried, upset, etc. there is peace for you.  All you have to do is ask for it.  That was my problem.  I didn't ask for peace, I asked for things to turn out the way I wanted them.  Now that I have that straightened out my load (and my step) is just a little lighter.

"And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7

Interview #2

Love them...love them all!

This interview went just as well as the first but looked different in a few ways.  First of all, it was MUCH smaller.  In the particular county we interviewed with on Monday there are three rounds of interviews (yes, I know...three!).  So, this interview had less people in it than our previous interview (that county only requires one interview to choose a family).  For interview #2 and #3 more and more people are added.
To make a long 2 1/2 hour interview shorter -  they liked us...they liked us enough that they decided immediately after the interview was over to advance us to "the next round."  Now, we just sit and wait for them to finish interviewing the rest of the families, make their decisions on who they will advance, and notify us when the Round 2 interview will be scheduled.  The good news is that if you make it into Round 3 they interview the final three families all in the same day and make their decision that very same day.  At least all your waiting up until that point is rewarded with some expediency!

So, we love them...we love them all.

Though this group looks so very different from the first group we can't help but love them too.  Each of these groups has such different group personalities and then within that each child has such a different personality.  We would be thrilled to be chosen for either set.  We've had some people ask us which group we would choose if were chosen for both (WISH!).  The answer to that is we could not.  There is not one single characteristic, need, personality...anything at all that would make us choose one group over the other.  They are so different and each so special that there is no way to compare them.  Should that happen, we'd leave it up to the expert...our caseworker.
                                         HOWEVER
We are still praying that we don't have to choose (or have anyone choose for us).  We're hoping the timing will be just right that we'll clearly know who our group is going to be.  Which brings me to another point.  We could walk out of these interviews without any children.  Boy do we hope that isn't the case...boy do we ever.
But I continue to claim that we fully trust in God's sovereignty during this whole process, especially now that we are so close - much closer than we've ever been.  But you know, as I sit and wait for "the call" or "the email" I am fighting feelings of nervousness and anxiety.  I'm trying my darndest to keep them at bay and out of my head.  I've been reminded (by others, by myself, by Jordan, and by the Word) that I am not fighting this battle alone.  I've got the greatest warrior fighting for me and my kids...the warrior that NEVER grows weary, NEVER gets anxious, and NEVER gives up.  I am confident His will will be done in this battle.  I sometimes just wish I could close my eyes and let Him finish while I hibernate :)

I'm going to leave you with two verses I've been clinging to this past week; they have a very special place in my heart.  These are verses that came to me at two different times at just at the right time by two people who didn't even know I needed them or why I needed them...these two women didn't even chat with each other about this.  In fact, one was given to me by a woman I had never met before.  Please notice how similar these two verses are...this clearly isn't a coincidence but rather a specific message meant for me in my time of need.  So thank you Kate O. and Sherilyn J. for listening and responding as you were directed.

"You will not have to fight this battle.  Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you...Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.  Go out and face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you." 2 Chronicles 20: 17

"Do not be afraid of them; the LORD your God himself will fight for you." Deuteronomy 3:22

(See, that doesn't look like a coincidence, does it?  Thank you Stacy S. for your post about coincidences!)

So, let's talk about interview #1.

It was in an office in a government building.  The three of us (Jess, Jordan, and I) sat on one side of a conference table while about 8-10 workers that are somehow involved with the kids sat on the other side of the table.  Picture a firing squad (perfect set-up for Jordan!).  Though it was set-up like that it surely didn't feel like that.
Jordan and I came prepared with SO MUCH information that would be helpful to these folks.  This included information about our insurance, services offered to military families, services offered in State College, different support systems we have, etc.  Jess also helped us to prepare by "briefing" us the night before with many different types of questions they may ask.
It was so apparent that each of these workers loved these sweet little kids.  You could tell by the way they talked about them...so sincere, so thoughtful, and so protective.
They asked such great questions that we felt we were truly able to give them an accurate representation of who we are as a couple, as individuals, and as a potential family.  In turn, we were able to ask them so many questions about the kids and find out about the first few years these buggers have already had.
Jordan seems to think we impressed them.  He tells me stories about them scribbling notes as I spoke on my soap box, about how they nodded their heads in agreement when we talked about the important family foundations that we would strive to build in our family, and how they raised their eyebrows when we showed them some scrapbooks of our families, friends, and fun times.  Me, I never caught any of this.  My mind was racing at a million miles a minute.  I was too focused on the question at hand and anticipating the question that may come next.  I do remember; however, that they did seem impressed when I, being the type-A personailty that I am, whipped out my excel spreadsheet of all the items that we'll need to purchase for each room of the house and the outside (they actually asked me if we thought about what we may need - haha...thankfully I didn't laugh out loud).  The three of us left the room feeling great.
Whether or not we get these kids we are extremely pleased with the outcome of the interview.  At the very least it was a great opportunity.  At the very best we'll end up with our kids.  I wish I could tell you more about them.  They seem so great, so fun, so lovable and boy are they cute - so cute!
We were told today that they intend to make a decision within a week.  This is good news.  We really want to know one way or another so we can continue to love on these kids or so we can emotionally detach from the idea of welcoming them into our home.  Of course, we'll be sure to let you know.
In the mean time we'll be preparing for interview #2 on Monday.  We really hope and pray that one says "yes" and the other says "no."  Our biggest fear is having to decide between groups.  In fact, we may defer that to the experts (caseworkers) should that happen.
So, friends, keep praying and wishing and hoping that soon we find out we have some kids.  We're trying not to get too excited but we're so close it's hard not to be.
Here's to some good news VERY soon!