A Picture Really Is Worth 1,000 Words

As Crystal was sitting at the kitchen table with gobs of arts-and-crafts supplies in front of her she very simply asked to a very pre-occupied mom, "What should I make, Momma?"  To which I very simply and half-brained replied, "Draw a picture of the thing that makes you happiest."

So, she went about her merry way and I went about mine, not paying too much mind to what she was doing.  After all, there were five other children (plus friends) trolling about all vying for my attention in some way or another.  Sometime later she finished (five minutes?  25 minutes?  I have no idea.  Children.  Trolling.  Screaming.  Chasing.  Cooking.  Cleaning.  Homework.) she handed me a folded up piece of white notebook paper and told me she made me a picture of her favorite thing.  Right.  Notebook paper.  Parent code for "not a big deal."  I satisfied her with the "put it at my chair and I'll look at it later.  My hands are busy packing lunches" response.  I'm sure in her little brain she was thinking "Yep, that's what she always says.  Put it at my chair."

Later that night (last night, really) I sat down at my chair to review my to-do list for the next day and make sure my affairs were in order before heading to bed.  I saw her little notebook paper picture folded up in front of me.  I opened it and saw this:

As a few tears started to trickle down my cheek I quickly wiped them and did what never happens in this house.  I went upstairs to wake my sleeping child.  How in the world could 21 hours in the car with me be her favorite thing?  I had no idea.  Absolutely none.  That trip was torturous.  Let me tell you about it before I explain her answer.

Kayla's engagement party was that weekend (just about one year ago to be exact).  I decided at the last minute to go because Jordan was actually home that entire weekend.  Crystal is the best car-rider and pee-holder we have so I decided to take her...mostly to give Jordan one less kid to take care of on his own.  She also doesn't have any diet restrictions like the others so I wouldn't have to worry too much about that.  She can pack her own bags and she sleeps like a champ.  Easy answer.  Crystal's coming with mom.  In the car.  For 8 hours (which due to unforeseen circumstances ended up being 13 hours) on Friday, party Saturday, 8 hours in the car Sunday.  BORING.

Switch gears with me:  I'm up in Crystal's room shaking the snot out of her.  Remember, she's a solid sleeper.  I needed her to wake up.  She looks at me like I'm crazy and then looks scared.  Remember, I NEVER wake my sleeping children.  I sit her up and take her skinny little face in my hands (mostly because her head keeps dropping back down!) and ask her "Why in the world was the super long trip to Pennsylvania your favorite thing?"  She very simply answered "Because I had you all to myself.  Not just for a little bit.  For a long bit."  She then curled back up and appeared to have no further intentions of answering any other questions I may have for her.  As I walked back down the stairs I started thinking.  How in the world could that be your favorite thing.  We went to Disney World.  With our whole family.  We've been to HersheyPark.  With our whole family.  We went to a super water park.  With our whole family.  I took you to NYC to pick out your very first American Girl Doll.  With your sister.  We spent days at a lake house.  With our friends.  We go on walks together - just us.  For 10 minutes.  We have girl talk after the little girls go to bed and your the only girl awake.  Until a brother interrupts us.  We went to Washington DC.  With your best friend and brothers.  I gave up my career so I could spend all the time I have with you.  And with your siblings and your dad and my chores.  We do lots of fun and exciting things together.  But not just us and not for long periods of time.

One of the hard things about having a lot of children and having a husband whose job demands so much of his time is that it leaves very little (so very, very little) time for one-on-one parental attention, not to mention time for us to keep dating (please keep your "this is why people should only have two kids" comments to yourself, thank you).  I try my hardest to carve out little smidgens of time where my eyes are ears are focused only on only one kid at a time.  It's tough.  It's really tough.  I've heard so many arguments about the quality time vs. quantity of time you spend with your kids.  What I've been learning and what this confirmed is that...they need both!  As further confirmation (crazy how our God works!) I came across this article posted by a friend while I was in the middle of writing this blog:

http://drjamesdobson.org/articles/parenting-june2011/90-sec-commentaries/quality-quantity

This is an area where I know I need to constantly and consistently be intentional.  I fail so many times and miss so many great opportunities because other things beckon to me.  It's not just other kids.  It's housework, dinner, dishes, bills, dogs, friends, family, rest, etc.  The kids have never ever complained that I don't spend enough time with them.  I think they see that I try.  I think they see that they are important to me.  But, after seeing a little glimpse into the heart of my daughter, I know they need and want and deserve even more.

Your take-away:  try to carve out both quality and quantity time with your kids and see if it even further fills their little love tanks <3