I am a sinner saved by grace.
and
I am His.
Yes, I am obeying a call to help a child in need. And yes, it happens to be more risky/painful than some of the other things I've been called to do. But, it's not any bigger or better than the other things I've been called to do. Things at which I have been called and failed.
I fail. Regularly. I show impatience when I should show patience. I become angry when I should show kindness. I hold onto bitterness when I should forgive. I think judgmental thoughts when I should offer grace. I say hurtful things when I should uplift. I think of myself when I should think of others. I let the busyness of my life get in the way of the relationships I should be nurturing. I withhold good instead of giving it when I'm upset. I lose hold of my tongue when it needs held. I guard my heart with unnecessary boundaries when I should love without fail. I work on the outside of my body when I should work on the inside. I show discontent when I should show compassion.
I fight the same struggles we all fight in one way or another. I struggle to walk as blamelessly as possible, but I fail. Every.Single.Day. That's why I need Jesus. That's why I need grace. That's why He gave me the cross.
Thankfully, those failures don't define me. They give me goals to help better myself - to love and live more like Christ.
Please don't think me donating a small piece of my liver makes me wonderful. This is God's design. This is His plan. He's orchestrated the whole event. He's just letting me be a part of it, despite my faults and failures. Despite my willful disobedience in other areas of my life. Despite all of me.
I'm beyond grateful for the outpouring of love and support and encouragement. You all make our crazy life worthwhile and joy-filled. You all help encourage me to be bolder and walk stronger. And the six little pair of eyes watching my every move help me to seek God more so I can be a better example for them.
beautifully said. God bless you.... you are an encouragement though.... I praise God for you and your family. Praying for you as you go. Love to you all.
ReplyDeleteWithout your example, we wouldn't be on the journey we're currently undertaking. So, sure, you're not wonderful...what you ARE is wonderfully made, and a wonderful friend.
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