Big News x 2

As I'm sure you all know we (finally) celebrated the adoption of our four children:  Joseph, Crystal, Brea, and Amanda.  Words simply cannot express what we feel.  The best words we can find are joy and relief.  Here are a few shots of that day:

In front of the courthouse

Sweet Brea Scott

Happy parents

Ready to start the hearing

Miss Amanda

Princess Crystal

My handsome stud, Joseph

Forever a Family!

Our loving family and friends who came to support us that day

Now, let me continue (for those of you at the adoption party this will be pretty close to my speech):

Jordan and I are so thankful for all of you out there who have supported us in so many ways.  Each comment, card, package, etc., came at the right time and was truly appreciated.  However, I feel it is also important for me to recognize a few people who have gone above and beyond to show us love and support.

I want to thank Trinity E.C. Church in Rutherford for instilling in me the fundamental truths found in the Bible.  They spent countless hours teaching me and preaching to me and for that I am grateful.  I want to especially thank Pastor Lewis for continuing to love me through my most unloveable years.  He taught me more than he'll probably ever know.

I want to thank the teachers, preachers, and friends at Calvary Baptist in State College for recognizing I possessed those fundamental truths but then challenged me to live them out in a very real way...and held me accountable in the process!

I'd like to thank Jordan for his steadfast and unwaivering support.  While he got tossed headfirst into parenting, he also got tossed headfirst into very rigourous training and jobs with the Marines.  He hardly complained, he loved me and the children, did extremely well at his job and joyfully ate more than his fair share of grilled cheese dinners when the days just got away from us.  He is my champion.
 
I want to thank my parents, my brother and Domenica, and my sister and Chris for relentlessly following us up and down the east coast over the past two years.  They met our needs before we even realized them and offered an over-abundance of grace and mercy while I figured out how to be a mom to four small children...even on the days when they likely wanted to punch me :)

Annie and Nicole, my two best friends, also deserve my thanks.  Though they have family and jobs of their own they made it a priority to love on all six of us.  They especially ministered to me.  They often bought last-minute plane tickets to spend time with me, sent care packages and cards, and accepted early morning and late night phone calls.  They did more than their fair share of loving when I found it difficult to fulfill my end of the bargain.  They showed me true-blue friendship at its finest.

Lastly, I want to thank my children.  They came into this family through no choice of their own.  They came to two parents who had all the theory in the world and none of the practice.  They readily give us grace and forgiveness when we fail and encouragement whether we deserve it or not.  They are living proof of God's goodness, mercy, and provision.  They are the true heroes in this story.

That being said, I cannot let the chance pass without telling you what has been on the hearts of the six of us:  (trust me, you'll want to read this to the end).

We are so very thankful for all of the encouragement from people who hear of our story.  I hear things like: "You are such an inspiration," "You are so amazing for what you've done," I can't believe your heart - what a testimony," and other variations of those comments.  While they truly have lifted us up and encouraged and blessed us in so many ways, I started to believe them.  Then I embraced them.  Then I became complacent.

In a wonderful book called "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan it quotes,

"Maybe you have already made sacrifices.  If so, you have seen that in some ways it gets easier, doesn't it?  You have witnessed the benefits of giving and are blessed because of it.  But it gets harder, too.  The temptation to level off increases with each passing year.  Pride tells you that you've sacrificed more than others.  Fear tells you it's time to worry about the future.  Friends say you've given enough, that it's someone elses's turn now."

 

Thankfully, the book doesn't end there.  As I continued with concurrent readings of "Crazy Love" and "Radical" by David Platt I came to learn that this way of thinking is wrong and downright dangerous.
Upon scouring and studying the New Testament I couldn't find one single verse about doing enough to have done "your part."  I found no verse telling me that I can stop helping and reaching out because I've fulfilled my quota.  Instead, I found verses like:

 

"Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple." - Luke 14:27

 

"None of you can be my disciple who does not give up all his possessions." - Luke 14:33

 

"If anyone wishes to follow me he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me."

 - Luke 9:23

With the help of  the New Testament, "Crazy Love" and "Radical" I was able to see the error in my previous thinking that I have "done my part."

You see, I believe Christ is telling us that while we're on this Earth our job is never done.  We are to carry our cross.  Jesus never said carry our cross for a little while and then relax.  He never said once you've fulfilled a certain quota we can kick up our feet.  It's a daily job - until we meet Him face to face.

I like how David Platt put it:

"But then I realize there is never going to come a day when I stand before God and He looks at me and says 'I wish you would have kept more for yourself.'"

 

I'm not pointing any fingers, friends.  I'm not even suggesting that anyone who reads this isn't doing their part.  I'm only sharing with you my journey and my heart.

I think it's high time for my and my family to stop asking "How much can we spare?" and start asking "How much is it going to take?"

We have all been given different abilities and gifts.  Paul says in 1 Corinthians 12:4-7

 

"There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit.  There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord.  There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men.  Now to each on the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good."

Jordan and I were undoubtedly given a heart for orphans.  "...Orphans are easier to ignore before you know their names.  They are easier to ignore before you see their faces.  It's easier to pretend they're not real before you hold them in your arms.  But once you do, everything changes." - "Radical."

People have told my children "no."  People have pushed my children to the side.  My children were on the outskirts of society - and it breaks my heart.  While Jordan and I still have breath we aim to use our passions and gifts to fight for the orphans.

Now that I've shared our hearts, please don't think we're crazy when I tell you that all six of us have decided to adopt again.  We have already started the process to bring home two boys from Ethiopia.  We're only in the beginning stages so there is a good amount of paperwork and fundraising to be done...but we've started.  The kids are thrilled, we're excited.  We're not exactly sure how all the logitics will work out - but we know and trust they will.  As Francis Chan put it:

"...God doesn't call us to be comfortable.  He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn't come through."

The Journey of My Heart

This (long) post is meant to encourage and uplift anyone who has been down a similar path as the many I've traveled this past 18 months.  Perhaps one of these titles relates to you now, perhaps it did before, or perhaps it will in the future.  Nevertheless, there is something to be learned from each of these:


Foster Mother - I thought the children that were coming into our home were going to be legally ours in a matter of months.  Little did I know the process would take much longer, leaving an ache and a fear in my heart for over a year.  I wasn't able to live in the freedom of making choices for my children without getting permission from people who barely knew them.
Adoptive Mother - Once the parental rights were terminated, the reality that these children will truly  be mine resonated in my mind and soul...in so many different ways.
Adoptive Mother of Older Children - I will admit it; there is a good bit of grief and loss in not having a child to raise since infancy. 
Mother - The day-to-day responsibilities of raising four children all very close in age has its joys and its challenges...often all in the same day!
Mother of special needs children - We were told and so expected that the children coming to us were all healthy and happy.  Shortly after joining our family we learned that Brea has many specials needs that require constant therapy and medical attention and Joseph has mental health and behavioral needs that require intense therapy and supernatural patience.  These realizations made my heart heavy for my children.  Heavy because no one identified these before now and heavy because every mother truly wants her child to be perfectly healthy and happy, having every opportunity available to them.
Mother of multiples - Although my children are not the same age, they were all "born" to me at the same time.  I had four emotional infants to care for at the same time.
Wife of a Marine - The needs of the Corps supercede all.  I fully understand this, respect this, and never complain about this (after all, I married the Marine!).  However, having a husband who is an Infantry Officer often leaves us to manage on our own which tires the heck out of a mom and leaves a wife longing for her husband and best friend.  A Marine wife is expected to keep all aspects of the home running and must know about all aspects of the home as her husband is often gone for long lengths of time.  The weight of this responsibility can be heavy.  That being said, every time I see all the that Marines and other service members do for our country and community I tear up with pride.
Wife - A (stay-at-home) wife is still often responsible for making and maintaining appointments, keeping the house clean and organized, keeping food on the table, and keeping all the mountains of laundry clean.  It can become monotonous at times and down right boring!
Happily working full-time professional turned to stay-at-home mother - Basically overnight I went from a working professional who adored (and still does) her job to a stay-at-home mom...talk about a change in roles.  I had a job where I went to school for six years plus had a 9 month fellowship to learn the necessary theory and practice to complete the job.  There are tried and true methods to diagnosing and treating patients.  Oh wait, something new comes up, no problem, look it up.  You forget the name of a nerve, no problem, get out the books, phone a friend, or ask the doc.  Now I have a job where you don't take "Mother classes."  Every situation is completely different and new.  There are no "Mother manuals" or "Mother hotlines."  You're expected to know what to do, right away, everytime...and have well-behaved, always clean, loving sweet children...right?!?!
Longing for family and friends - Between State College and Harrisburg I had a great circle of friends and family.  Seeing them at church, outside during a walk, or having them pop by the house filled a void that I had once we moved.  Moving twice within one year made making and keeping friends a real trial.  I am so thankful for phones, email, and webcams...and I'm also so thankful for the sacrifices many of you have made to visit regularly, send treats, make dinners, do chores, and offer encouragement in many different ways.  You kept me going.

Let me preface the meat of this post:  I love my children.  I had no idea there was a love this great.  I would cut my living, beating heart out of my very chest if one of my children needed it.  I poured my entire being into them and will continue to do so, but in a very different way now.  My eyes were opened by His mercy and grace.  I came to the realization that my priorities were off balance.  Sorely off balance.

I couldn't understand why I felt so off...so empty.

When I looked around I could see that my children were thriving.  They were growing in leaps and bounds in every aspect of their life.  Yes, they were thriving.  This should be enough, right?  Isn't this what every mother wants?  Yes, yes, it must be.  Keep going, Sarah.  Keep doing what you're doing.  The kids are great.  The house is spotless.  Your husband's lunch is always packed.  The laundry is always folded and put away.  The bills are paid - on time.  You've cooked a dinner for church.  The dog is groomed.  Your rose bushes look fanstastic.  You volunteer at school.  The pantry is full.

But then why, why am I so empty?

Because I was only surviving.  I'm was not thriving.  From day the day children moved into our home and life I can see now that I became robot-like.  I went through the motions, rather well I might add, and I did what needed to be done no matter how tired or how lonely I was.

I focused so much on the various needs of the children: take them to appointments, change their diet, get them on a schedule, keep them clean, go to therapy, sign up for gymnastics, practice karate, read lots of books, practice reading and writing.  It was hard.  So hard.  Looking back I don't know how I did it.  I was virtually a single mother caring for four new, needy children.  They were so wild and out of control when they first came.  There were grand-mal seizure-sized tantrums, behaviors I didn't even know existed, diagnoses I was unfamiliar with, in children I was only getting to know.  All the while I was dealing with the various grief, loss, and unexpected expectations I listed above.  I was on turbo speed making sure that each and every single need of theirs was met.  And met as perfectly as I could meet it.  After all, every good mother puts the needs of her children above herself, doesn't she?

 I was also focused on being the best Marine-wife and wife that I could be:  Don't complain about Jordan's schedule, have a hot meal ready, don't complain about Jordan's schedule, clean the uniform, don't complain about Jordan's scheduled, go to those ridiculous meetings, don't complain about Jordan's schedule, pack the lunch...and still get dressed, do my hair, and put on make-up every single day!  I did my best to make sure the needs of my husband were met.  And met as perfectly as I could meet them.   After all, every officer's wife has to look good and behave well all the time, doesn't she?

I focused so much on being the great stay-at-home mom/wife that I could be.  This was my "new job."  It's important to do your job and do it well:  cut the grass, take out the trash, scrub the baseboards, wash the windows, steam-clean the furniture, wax the floor.  I intended to give my home the same attention I gave my patients when I was at work.  The only problem was I was at work 8-9 hours/day and left work when I left the building.  I never left my home.  Ever...save the weekly trip to the grocery store or to stop by the kids' school.  After all, every stay-at-home mom sacrifices her needs for the needs of her house (not home), doesn't she?

I am ashamed, very ashamed to say that it took a rude awakening to bring me back where I belonged...on my knees.

You see, friends, I was so focused on being the woman the world thought I should be that I forgot who I truly am: 
- I am the daughter of God (not of this world):  "Yet to all who did receive Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God"  - John 1:12
- I am friend of Jesus (I am not alone, not ever):  "I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his mater's business.  Instead, I have called you friends, for everythingthat i learned from my Father I have made known to you."  - John 15:15
- I am alive (not a robot):  "But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in trangressions - it is by grace you have been saved."  - Ephesians 2:5
- I am good enough (no matter what others think):  Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus..."  - Romans 8:1
- I am forgiven (when I fail others, fail myself, and fail my God):  In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace" - Ephesians 1:7
- I have enough (no matter how full my pantry is):  "And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus."  - Philippians 4:19
- I am not doing this alone (no matter how many appointments are jammed into a day):  "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28
- I have power in Him (regardless of how the world sees me):  "For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline." - 2 Timothy 1:7
- I have peace (even amidst the chaos of life): "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  - Philippians 4:7
- I am not navigating this life alone (He is in control):  "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11
- I am loved (always loved, without fail):  "Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." - Lamentations 3:22-23

I was reminded that God is to be my focus.  My eyes need to remain on Him and my heart needs to remain in Him. 

I thought I was doing fine.  Like I said, my children, husband, and home were thriving.  We went to church every Sunday, I said my prayers every day, I read my Bible (rather) faithfully, and I did devotions with the kids.  The problem was He didn't have all of me.  My priorities looked like this:
1. kids
2. husband
3. house/others
4. God

Instead of this:
1. God
2. husband
3. kids
4. house/others

I was trying so hard to be the Proverbs 31 woman.  However, I somehow managed to leave out verse 30 "...But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised."

Over the past couple months I've made a conscious effort to realign myself in the way God intended it.  Let me tell you, friends, it takes a true conscious effort.  There are so many distractions and excuses in this world.  It's the way of the world...it's the way of the enemy.  Please understand this:  good things can still distract you from Him.  That's the trap I fell into.  Everything I did I could justify.  I could very easily justify it.  I truly believe the enemy was using this to distract me from loving on my God the He wants us to love on Him. 

I lived like this for a year. 

I am so thankful, so very grateful for the mercy he showered (and I mean thunderstorm-type showers) on me.  Our God is full of grace, mercy, and compassion.  He knew what I needed and he provided it...without me asking for it.  I look over the past year and all I can do know is shake my head and praise My God.  I wish I could cut open my chest and you could see my heart.  It is singing again.  It is singing loudly, clearly, and boldly.

You can have this, too.  God is so ready to welcome you with open, loving arms.  He is all you need.  He has all you need.  Whatever you are facing, you don't need to face it in fear or face it alone.  He has joy, He has peace, He has love, He has patience...He has so much...and its all for us.  All we have to do is ask.  Please let me know if you don't know where to start or how to start.  I certainly don't have all the answers, but I know lots of folks who do.  And I know where they are all found.  If you don't have a Bible, message me.  I'll mail one to you.  Honest, I will.

I apologize for such a long post but it has been such a long journey.  Praise Him.

A Proud, Humble Heart

It's an oxymoron, I know.  I have a proud, humble heart.  I am so very proud because my oldest two children, Joseph and Crystal, auditioned for Camp Lejeune's rendition of the Lion King and they both landed parts!  The kids' summer camp program (kindergarten through sixth grade) will put on the musical at the end of the summer.  These two have never been in a play or never have the auditioned for anything yet practiced, auditioned, and made it!  Joseph is the understudy for Mufasa and is also in the chorus.  Crystal is in the singing and dancing ensemble.  She will wear some sort of animal costume.

I have a humble heart, too.  When they told me they wanted to audition I was nervous for them.  I sorely underestimated their ability.  I truly didn't think they'd make it since they have no experience and are two of the youngest kids in the camp program.  When I prayed, I prayed for God to let them have a good experience, not to be hurt or disappointed with the results, and I prayed for wisdom in helping them understand the experience.

Little did I know they would not only try out but they would land parts!  God humbled my heart right-quick.  He helped me see that it wasn't my children's ability I was underestimating but rather it was His.

I'd say it was a good lesson with good results!  I sure am one proud Momma.

I know I have been terribly behind with this blog.  I have great intentions of keeping up with it again...IOC, moving, and summer are got in the way of that :)

What's the POINT of Discipline?

I attended a fantastic seminar provided by our church today entitled:  What's the POINT of Discipline?  I focused on the necessity of discipline when raising children but adding some grace into the mixture.  I left so encouraged.  The speakers broke this topic down into really applicable steps and not into broad ideas, which really helps a Type A person like myself.  I did my best to take notes which I'll share below.  I'd really love to hear your feedback on this as well as any additional tips and suggestions you may have.

What's the POINT of Discipline?

P:  Pray - Pray like your children's lives depend on it, because it does.  This doesn't mean only pray for them, it also means pray for yourself. 

- Make your relationship with God a priority and make this visible to your children.

-  You are called to be a Godly parent, not to raise Godly children.

-  The three most important things you can pray for your children are:

                   1.  Their salvation

                   2.  Their future spouse

                   3.  Their behavior

                             Notes on behavior:

                                 - Ignorance is NOT bliss when parenting, you must always pay attention to behavior, rewarding the good and disciplining the inappropriate.

                                 -  Pray your children get caught when misbehaving – they'll be safer for it!

                                 -  Encourage other family members and adults to help hold your children accountable for the behavior you expect and let your children know this.

O:  One - Be ONE with your spouse.  You and your spouse must ALWAYS be on the same page, supporting each other, in front of the children.

           - It's okay to not always agree on discipline, rules, and expectations but do this in private.  You and your spouse must be a united front or your children will drive a wedge in between you both...and they'll know it.

          - Honor and praise your spouse in front of your children.

          - Verbally and physically love your spouse in front of your children.

          - You want your children to have a healthy relationship to mimic and look up to

I:  Intentional - Be INTENTIONAL with your discipline.  Lazy parents will raise lazy children.

          - Decide your rules, expectations, and boundaries and UPHOLD them

                                       - Kids crave and desire clear expectations

         - Decide consequences ahead of time.  This will keep you from overreacting from anger and frustration or underreacting from weariness and fatigue.

        - Decide which offenses are punishable and which can be teachable moments.

               Note:  A punishable offense should be when a child is purely disobedient by breaking a rule out of sheer choice (this is why it's important to have this decided ahead of time).

                        A teaching moment should be when an accident happens from inappropriate behavior o rminor offenses.  However, a warning should then be given.  The next time it happens a consequence should follow.

             ex:  Punishable offense:  your child hits someone, throws a toy, refuses to follow a direction

                   A teaching moment:  your child is playing too rough and breaks a vase, your child knocks over his cup at the table because he's not sitting still. your child says a mean thing in response to anger

                        - Un-busy your life:  It is hard to be an intentional parent when you don't have the time.

                                    BUSY = Being under Satan's yoke; he wants you to be busy so you don't have time

for your children or for God.

                       -  You MUST be consistent - and you can't be if you're too busy!

                       - You will grow weary of being consistent, especially with the little things that you think may not matter "all that much" but IT DOES MATTER.

                       -  You must always follow through...every single time.  It will be hard and tiresome but God will honor your dedication.  You will see sweet blessings from this in your life. 

                       -  It is most difficult to remain consistent with the simple, mundane tasks.  If you tell your child to tie their shoes and they do not, this is disobedience.

                      -  Only make threats you can and will carry out

                               - This is hard in the heat of the moment, here's an idea:

                                           Make an "If-Then" chart.  This can be for you to refer to when your children are young.  As they get older they can refer to it themselves.  The concept of the chart is this:   If you do (insert behavior) then this (insert consequence).  This will keep you from over or under reacting.  You can make the behaviors broad (disobeying, saying bad words, etc) or very specific (typically child specific to target certain behaviors).

                       *Prepare your child for the path, not the path for your child*

N:  Never - NEVER give up.  Your end goal should be for your children to love God with all of their heart, soul, mind, and strength.

            - At the end of each day ask yourself:  What did I do to incorporate God into our lives today?

            -  Encourage yourself with scripture, music, other mothers and fathers

            - You WILL grow weary, find a way to refresh yourself:  bubble bath, reading, hobbies               

            - KNOW and TRUST that your children will thrive because of your consistency

T:  Teachable - ALL discipline should include TEACHABLE obedience

            - Your children must be taught to obey you AND to obey Jesus

            - Give your child grace BEFORE the action.  Do this by knowing their strengths and weaknesses.  Do not set them up for failure.  Rather, set the rules and expectations by their age and ability.  This is the grace.  Anticipate their needs.  They must strive to obey.

           -*We live in a child-centered society.  Children are now expected to act like children. Much of their inappropriate behavior is tolerated because they are children.  This is wrong thinking.  Do NOT be a child-centered home.  This produces children who are self-centered and full of excuses.  Discipline must begin at birth.  Society may scourn you but God will honor this and your children will be better for it.

           - Young children must be taught obedience to parents so they are obedient to other authority as they grow and mature (teachers, employers, and ultimately God).

Other tidbits from the session:

- Use the phrase "That's inappropriate" for anything (behavior, TV shows, music, clothing, etc) that may not necessarily be wrong but either is not God-honoring or doesn't fit into your family values.  This will give your children verbage to use as they get older without sounding condemning to others.

- Widen your circle of influence by meeting adults where your children spend their time (school, sports, etc) so you have other trustworthy adults who can help influence your children and help hold them accountable.

- Books:

    - How to Make Them Mind Without Losing Yours - Kevin Lehman

    - The Birth Order Book - Kevin Lehman

    - Parenting Beyond Your Capacity - (sorry, didn't catch the author)

    - The Treasure Tree

- Try "The Couch of Repentence"  When your children are arguing make them both sit on the couch and hold hands until they can each tell you how their inappropriate actions/language caused the arguement.  They must also tell you how they can avoid it next time.

- Try "The Manners Candle"  Buy a long taper candle and light it at the start of each dinner.  When ANY of the children have bad manners it gets blown out and is NOT relit that dinner.  When the candle melts down to the end the children are then rewarded somehow (special dessert, dinner out, etc).  This makes them work as a team as well.  It's up to them to determine how long the candle stays lit.  The candle is blown out at the end of dinner, as determined by the parent.  You may  have to set a time limit if they're smart enough to eat slowly to prolong the burning!

- Learn your children's love language and USE IT!

- Don't underestimate the power of verbal praise as a reward; don't be too quick to buy presents and treats for good behavior.

-  Don't set reward systems for expected behavior that they've already mastered.  Set reward systems for learning behaviors.

- Incorporate scripture daily

- Respect the importance of family meals

- Listen to your husbands.  They may not know your children the way that you do but God gives them the wisdom to raise a family.  They have an entirely different perspective that may be useful.

- Give grace BEFORE the punishable offense by knowing your children.  Boredom is a precursor to bad behavior.  Help keep them occupied with different toys, crafts, games, etc.  Balance this with making sure they know how to occupy themselves (make sure they have appropriate things to occupy themselves with).

- VERY IMPORTANT:  Show your children that you have the same discipline that you expect from them.  Keep your home clean and in order, have household chores not only finished but finished correctly, always be on time for work/events, make time for your children, make time for your God, make time for your spouse.  Try your best to set the best example you can for your children.

There it is, friends.  Again, these are my notes from the seminar.  I'd love to hear your thoughts and feedback!

Thanks, Mom and Dad!

Since visitations are over and we're soon moving to NC, our season of traveling to and from Harrisburg has come to an end (HOOOORAAAAAAYYY).  We may be up to visit now and then but not often and likely not for a while.  Quite frankly, the kids and I are plumb tired of traveling.  Since they've come to live with us the kids and I have put over 5,000 miles traveling to visits between State College and Allentown and between Virginia and Allentown.  In fact, the only time we've ever been to Harrisburg without going on a visit was for Christmas.  They have been such little champs but we're all weary of leaving our home so often.  However, I want to thank some real champs:  my Mom and Dad.



They have graciously allowed us to invade their home time and time again so that the children didn't have to make the journey all in one day.  They have prepared their home for us by keeping a large stock of toys, arts and crafts, books, and outside toys.  They have suffered through barbies, babies, trucks, and blocks all over the house, under the couches, on the front porch, etc.

They have fed all of us each time.  Both Amanda and Brea have special dietary needs which they willingly accommodated...not to mention it isn't cheap to feed all five of us (six the times Jordan came) on the strict Sarah Ames diet.  Often times I'd wake up and my Dad and Mom would already have the kids breakfast on the table ready and waiting for me to wake them.  My mom would also have all our meals hot and ready when we returned from visits or visiting.

Aside from having four little children run around, Brooke also always came as well.  They played with her and took care of her while we went on our visits, they fed her, and even bathed her a few times too.

They prepared five extra beds, five extra set of towels, and bought all of our toiletries, and then did all of the laundry each time.  My mom even always did our laundry before we left so I wouldn't have to bother with it when we returned home.

They also respected my rules for the children and expected the children to behave in their home as well.  They understood the special needs and requirements for each of them and did their best to follow through to keep the children calm.  Though it was terribly inconvenient for them at times, they didn't complain.

In addition to allowing us to invade their home, they always (very graciously I might add) welcomed the onslaught of other family and friends who wanted to see us or whom I wanted to see.  At any given time there was almost always extra friends and family in the house whom they also entertained and fed.  They allowed us to make our schedule however we wanted and always worked around it for us.

So thanks Mom and Dad (and Kayla, too!) for so willingly and lovingly opening your entire home - top to bottom for my babies.  We love you!

Jordan Daniel

I certainly would be remiss if I didn't write a tribute to my husband, Jordan.

Jordan Daniel

(Isn't he so handsome?)

I hardly know where to begin. 

Jordan is a strong man.  He has a commanding sense about him when he's in the room but he never is overbearing or overwhelming - not anywhere close to it.  His quiet presence seems to affect others in a way that I haven't seen often.  He respects others' opinions and he also does not agree with others' opinions at times but he's never one to argue about it.  In fact, he hardly discusses it unless asked or invited.  Jordan marches to the beat of his own drum (no pun intended here, he is a drummer).  He knows what he believes in and what he would like to do and he does it.  He never cares what others will think, say, or do.  He's a man of conviction...the quiet kind, not the brazen and bold kind.

Jordan is a man of integrity.  Jordan follows through with all of his commitments...the whole way, not part of the way.  He is a man of his word.  He does not lie, exaggerate, stretch, omit, or alter the truth in anyway whatsoever.  Sometimes I feel he is honest to a fault but it's never once come back to get him.  He is the man who can carry the sign "Honesty is the best policy."

Jordan is a dedicated man.  Jordan puts 100% into all of his responsibilities:  our marriage, our children, and The Marines.  He wakes up earlier than the Corps makes him so he can stay physically fit, he stays up late on long days to be with the children, he turns off football games to spend time with me, and he'll suffer through John Wayne and LOTR to make me happy...the list continues.  He's a hard worker; rarely taking time for himself.  He is not selfish, not selfish at all.  He's giving of himself for the sake of our family and for his career - I truly respect and admire him for this.

Jordan is a natural born leader.  He understands the importance of "actions speak louder than words."  He rarely tells anyone what they should do but rather shows them how by living it out in his life.  He does not point fingers, condemn, or give advice where it is not needed or wanted.  He continues to do the right things in the right ways day after day...and wouldn't you know, people notice.  He never once has told me how to do something , to start doing something, or to stop doing something.  He only does what he feels an knows is right - I see that and I learn from him (he reminds me a lot of my Dad in this regard).  He's a doer, not a talker.  He has an open mind and a closed mouth.  I love that, too.

Jordan respects the woman that I am.  He understands my strengths and my weaknesses.  He allows me to use my strengths in our marriage without fussing or "putting his hand in the pot."  He also compensates in the areas where I am weak without holding it above my head or making me feel badly about it.  He respects my career, my opinions, my mind, and my heart.

Jordan is a godly man.  The Lord's favor has always shown in Jordan's life.  I truly believe this is because he is man who pursues God.  Though his time is highly limited from his job, he makes time for church, for devotions, and for prayer.  He doesn't waiver or faulter but always does what he knows is true and right, regardless of the consequence.

I know my husband isn't a perfect man, but he's perfect for me.  I respect and admire him more and more each day...and I'm thankful, very thankful. 



Amanda Elaine Elizabeth

And now for Daughter #3, the sauciest of them all.

Amanda Elaine Elizabeth

Age: 2

DOB: 2/9/09

Favorite Color:  orange

Favorite Food:  If you can eat it, it's her favorite. 

Favorite Activity:  talking, talking back, following Mommy around the house, and playing dress up with Brooke

Favorite sport:  riding her scooter and her bike

Interests:  dogs, Uncle Chris, food, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and Tinkerbell

How she chose her new name:  Another true story:  When the older children decided to pick new names, Amanda chimed in from the back seat of the van "I be 'MeenahMeenah'."  She was the first to decide her new name.  Now "MeenahMeenah," in Amanda-eese, is translated:  Miss Amanda.  From the first time that our Amanda met my lifelong friend Amanda Wright Stettler she has been obsessed with her.  Since that day in May she has called herself MeenahMeenah and she has called all of her baby dolls "Baby Abby," who is Amanda Wright Stettler's daughter.  Six months later our Amanda can actually say her name correctly but when she refers to Amanda Wright Stettler she still calls her MeenahMeenah.  She also still names all of her baby dolls Baby Abby.  We gave Amanda two middle names only because we couldn't decide on one.  Since Crystal chose two and Amanda Wright Stettler has two middle names, we decided to give our Amanda two.  Elaine is Jordan's mother's middle name and Elizabeth is my mom's middle name.  That's the story of our Amanda Elaine Elizabeth.

Amanda is our saucy child.  She is in time out 4-6 times per day not because she misbehaves but because she talks back or talks too saucy.  Each time she says something she's so funny about it, but unfortunately for her many of the times it's inappropriate.  She's something else.  Let me try to remember a few of her lines over the past few months:

- "Momma, if you don't stop fussin' at me I'm going to pop you in the mouth."

- "Grandpa, get over here right now (she's in my parent's bathroom and my dad is in the kitchen).  Grandpa, I said you get over here right now (he finally comes to her).  I'm pooping in your toilet, hahahaha."

- "Momma if you don't give me that you're going to be a Mean Witch."

- "Get away from me and shut the door, I'm so mad at you right now."

- "Does anybody have any broccoli around here, I'm starvin'."

- "Nobody can touch my dog or I'll shoot you with a shoot gun" (yes, shoot gun, not shot gun)

- As she's dancing in the living room she's shouting:  "Is there anyone more beautiful than myself"
- After I told Amanda she was so smart she replied:  "Jesus made me smart...and pretty too."

She really is a riot.  Thankfully her "timeout" area is a stool in the bathroom so I don't have to take her too far before I burst out laughing.

Amanda has an imagination at two years old that can rival that of any six year old.  Likely a result of her past, Amanda can entertain herself for hours at at time.  I'm not kidding.  Because of her age she mostly parallel plays instead of actually playing with other children (unless the older kids make her play with them!).  She can use one baby doll and pretend so much.  If she doesn't have what she needs, she just pretends.  You have to see it to believe it.  She's incredible.  She has a mind like Walt Disney in that way.  Because she entertains herself so well timeout is a real trick.  If she's left on the stool longer that a minute she'll pretend she has a dog or a baby and then pretend she's playing with it.  We've had to be real crafty with timeouts in order to make them effective.

One downside of Amanda entertaining herself so well is that while we were sorting through and addressing the more serious issues of the older children Amanda often was inadvertantly shoved to the side.  It seemed that the sqeaky wheels got the grease.  The older children required so much more time and attention and Amanda demanded nothing of us.  It wasn't until a few months after we had the children that Jordan and I realized that Amanda never came to us for affection or attention.  She sure loved it when we gave it to her but she never sought us out.  She didn't realize that adults were a source of love, affection, and attention.  We actually had to teach her this.  From that point on we made a conscious effort to give her extra undivided attention.  After only a week she caught on...and ever since then she hasn't left our side.

Amanda enjoys having me to herself while the big kids are at school.  She would really much rather help me fold laundry, fix beds, and make dinner than play with her toys.  Every morning she asks me "What are our chores today?"  She's a fast, attentive learner.  She can match socks, fold towels and rags, sort each of the children's clothes from another, stir pots of food, sort the silverware and dishes, and sweep the floor.  Her favorite thing to do is unload the dishwasher - I hope this lasts until she can actually reach the cupboards :)

Amanda loves her Uncle Chris.  She talks about him all the time and colors an endless supply of pictures for him (many of which I don't even send...shhh!).  When she's with him he's the one who has to bath her and dress her.  You should see his baby pictures.  He and Amanda nearly twins.  When the girls got their ears pierced she demanded that she sit on Uncle Chris's lap.



Amanda adores her Daddy.  She's the child who is most excited when he comes home from the field or from a day at work.  She always remembers to pray for him and she prays specifically for his situation.  This is one of my favorite prayers she said for him (give or take a few words):

"Dear God, Thank you that Daddy is done working in the rain in the field.  Thank you

that he can sleep in his comfy bed at Christmas time with Mommy and that he can eat

breakfast at our house.  Amen"

Amanda has a real heart for caring for others.  She always makes sure everyone has blankets and pillows when they are relaxing...even Brooke.  She gently will pat our backs and stroke our head while saying, "I love you, you are so pretty/handsome."  She always asks "Are you feeling happy?"  Amanda has a tender spirit and truly seems to enjoy seeing to other's needs. 

Conversely, Amanda is fiesty.  She does not like to be bossed around or told what to do.  She enjoys figuring things out for herself and typically has the patience to do so.  This ranges from coloring in the lines to dressing herself to doing a puzzle.  I enjoy seeing independence in this child and the pride that comes from achieving it.

Amanda may be a chef some day.  She LOVES food, all different foods.  She eats spicy foods, every raw vegetable, every cooked vegetable, fruits, meats, you name it, she'll eat it.  She takes eating very seriously.  She has really mastered the table manners we've been trying to teach and now will use both utensils so that she doesn't have to touch her food.  She remembers not to talk with her mouth full and will remind whoever is doing so that it isn't appropriate.  She remembers all the "good" food choices we've been teaching the children and will also holler at anyone who is making a bad food choice.  Embarassing at times, yes.  However, we're proud she's learning.

Amanda especially loves our dog, Brooke.  She calls Brooke "her baby" and always is with Brooke when we're in the house.  There is a mutual love between the two of them.  Amanda puts headbands and bows on the dog, lays on the dog, covers the dog with loads of blankets, sings to the dog, and even feeds the dog her breakfast.  They really are pals and it puts a smile in my heart to see this.

Amanda's just a sweetheart.  Aside from her saucy mouth, she really is a sweet, loving child.  I've really enjoyed having her home with me.  It has allowed me to really get to know her which wasn't so easy with the three big kids home.  She's got a smile and a pair of eyes that can melt your heart in an instant.  That sure has made disciplining her tougher but I can handle her!  She's my snuggler, my baby, my saucy, sweet, Amanda.  I'm really not looking forward to her turning three next month.  My baby is growing.



Brea Scott

Daughter #2

Brea Scott

Age: 4

DOB: 9/4/07

Favorite Color: blue

Favorite Food:  goldfish crackers

Favorite Activity:  coloring, cutting, and puzzles

Favorite sport:  swimming (she's a fish!)

Interests:  her Grandpa, Dora the Explorer, solitary play, preschool

How she chose her new name:  When Brea decided she wanted to choose a new name (again, her choice, not ours) she wanted to be called "Grandpa."  She loves her Grandpa Snyder more than most anything in the world.  It took a looooong time to make her realize that someone's name simply cannot be Grandpa.  We had to explain that Grandpa's name wasn't even Grandpa but that his real name is Scott.  Well, then she wanted to be called "Scott."  Great, now we were stuck.  After another round of explaining she settled on her middle name being Scott.  Jordan and I chose her first name for her which she happily agreed upon because she was already excited about "Scott."  It's short, easy to spell, and somewhat like her original name.  The only catch is she prefers to be called "Brea Scott" and not just "Brea."  Around the house her nicknames are Scott, Scotty, and Little Scott.  She's pleased, we're pleased, and my dad is thrilled.  That's how we got our Brea Scott. 



Grandpa and Brea Scott





Brea is a child that makes my instinctive protectiveness flare.  Brea has a host of special needs that include:  dietary restrictions, behavioral issues, mild MR (mental retardation), ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder), LLD (Language-Learning Delays), and Developmental Delays (in fine motor, gross motor, and speech).  She sees a specialist for most every part of her body except for her teeth!  We're currently in the process of sorting through what all of this means and the severity of each with her neurologist and therapists.  She attends a specialized preschool where all her needs are met and she receives daily therapy in each domain.  She's a very high-level child in regards to functioning but she clearly has needs that require extra attention.  However, just by meeting her a few times or by watching from afar one may not know she has special needs.  This is where my "Momma Bear" attitude is exposed.  I cannot and will not tolerate anyone commenting on the functioning, behavior, or my parenting of Brea.  She and I have come a long, long way and have a mutual understanding of how her life must go.  Over the past few months (with tremendous amounts of help and support from the neurologist and professionals at her school) we have really nailed down a healthy lifestyle and schedule for Brea where she can thrive and become all that she is able.

Because of her sensory and stimulation issues she easily becomes overwhelmed and overstimulated.  What I am most proud of is Brea's new found ability to self-monitor and self-regulate.  She can now (85% of the time) stifle one of her fits until she's walked herself into her bedroom and closed the door.  She'll then lay on her bed and scream and kick until she is done.  When she's done she comes back out happy.  What we're even more proud of is that she's learning her own breaking point.  Within the last month she will now take herself to her room before she starts having a fit, will close the door, and will read books or do puzzles until she's regulated her body again.  Sometimes she'll stay in her room for 20 minutes, sometimes she'll stay in her room for three hours.  She really has come so far.  I couldn't be prouder of my little nugget.

Brea is an equal opportunity player.  She enjoys girl toys such as barbies and babies but she also loves boy toys such as cars and blocks.  She does not like Disney Princesses but will tolerate Jasmine because she wears blue.  All of her baby dolls and stuffed animals are boys and have boy names...except for Dora.  However, Brea loves to wear hair bows and dresses...as long as they are not pink.

Brea is very sensitive.  Her feelings are so easily hurt but she also is very sensitive of other people's feelings as well.  She always tries to comfort a sad person and she always laughs with a happy person.  She is incredibly intune to my demeanor.  She can read me like a book and her attitude will most always reflect mine.  Brea loves to sit on laps but does not like to be held.  She loves to give kisses and hugs and always tell me she loves me.  At school her teachers tell us that all the other kids always want to be near with Brea because she so nice and caring.  Brea always shares her toys.  She usually will not play with you (as she prefers to play alone) but she will always give what she has.  Caveat:  You must first ask.  If you take her toy without asking she'll likely have a fit.  However, she'll never tell you no if you ask.  She's thoughtful and considerate.  She's just a love.

Brea is a strong-willed child.  When she has an idea in her head she will not rest until she sees it to fruition.  Many times strong-willedness comes across as stubborness...and many times it is.  She LOVES to test me.  Out of all the other children Brea is the child where consistency is the key.  If ANY rule or expectation is changed she will undoubtedly have a fit.  This is more a result of her special needs than of the trauma of her past but nonetheless is a combination of them both.  We cannot waiver even the slightest way in our routine and expectations.  If plans are going to change, Brea must be briefed and prepared well in advance.

Brea loves her Grandpa.  I'm glad I don't live next door to my parents for I fear I would never see my child.  When we visit my parents she will sit on my dad's lap for hours at a time looking at books.  She doesn't even care if he's watching television, she just wants to be near her Grandpa.  I'm not sure what the connection is nor do I really care.  I'm thankful she's finally attaching to family and friends.

Brea continues to amaze us day by day. Our God, in his infinite wisdom, gave our special child so many gifts.  Where she struggles just to dress herself, she can put together a 24 piece puzzle without looking at the picture.  Where she cannot recogize all of her letters, she can recognize all the roads between Pennsylvania and Virginia and will tell me which landmark is on each road.  Where she can't walk ten feet on a wide balance beem without falling, she can jump off the low dive and swim to the ladder.  She truly is a gift with so many gifts.  We are uncertain how Brea's life will develop and unfold but we are certain of this:  She is here for a reason, a special reason.  She will undoubtedly knock the bloody socks off of everyone she meets with her determination and her love.



Crystal Kay Marie

And now for my oldest daughter:

Crystal Kay Marie

Age: 5

DOB: 2/10/06

Favorite Colors:  pink and purple

Favorite Food:  oranges and butter and jelly sandwiches

Favorite Activity:  playing house

Favorite sport:  gymnastics

Interests:  Disney princesses, baby dolls, barbies, and fashion

How she chose her new name:  When she decided she wanted a new name (her choice, not ours) she chose Crystal after my Grandma Snyder and her Great Grandma Snyder, Crystal Joy Snyder.  She chose it because "she loves Great Grandma a lot and because it's a 'snazzy' name."  She then told us she chose "KayKay" as her middle name after my sister (whom they call Aunt KayKay) because she loves her so much too.  We had to do a little persuading and drop it to "Kay."  After a few more minutes of thinking she asked if she could have two middle names since she loves Aunt KayKay but still loves her original middle name, Marie.  Again, we couldn't argue with that so now we have our Crystal Kay Marie.

Crystal is my mystery child.  It takes every neuron in my brain to read this child.  She is a five year old girl who would like to be 25 most days and completely independent.  However, some days she wants to be five months old and completely dependent.  Women!

Crystal is a very social child.  She loves to be around people all the time. The girl can't take a bath without shouting out for me every five minutes or so.  She is not content to play with her toys unless someone else is in the room.  She cannot stand to be alone.  She craves attention; she thrives on attention.  Truth be told this scares me a little bit.  We are working incredibly hard to teach her to seek the right kind of attention at the right times.  We are also trying so hard to teach her to be content with herself.

Crystal is 100% Type A.  She follows all the rules and her room is neat as a pin.  If you open her drawers you'll find everything is arranged just so.  Her dresser is neat and organized.  Her shoes are always in a perfect line.  Her toys are sorted by type in her toy bins.  She wipes out the sink after she brushes her teeth...everytime...without being told.  She rarely needs to be told to do something twice.  She really is an easy child in this regard.  You can always count on her to do her chores thoroughly and then do a few on top of that.  As a mother I appreciate this tremendously.

Crystal must always know what is next in the schedule.  She hates surprises (even good ones) and uncertainty.  It's almost as she needs to mentally sort out how each activity will be for her or how she wants each activity to be.  However, this has developed a control issue within Crystal.  Likely from all the uncertainty in her past, she feels the need to be in control of nearly everything.  This is Crystal's main issue.  There is a HUGE difference in liking to be in control verses needing to be in control.  Crystal can really have a negative attitude when situations, whether they be in play or in our actual schedule, don't go her way or don't go as expected.  The two mantras we always repeat for her are:  1.  Show love not hate and 2. You worry about you.  She is working very hard on this and we have noticed a big difference in her attitude when she tries.  She truly is trying and we see that.  We're very proud of that.  It tells us she understands and is trying to make a change.  God bless her little heart, as adults it's so hard for us to make a personality change.  Can you even imagine how hard it is for a child...especially for a child who has only experienced 9 months of positivity?

Crystal is a Momma's girl.  She loves her Daddy very much but she clearly needs her Momma.  She does not rest when I am away.  In fact, she often will act out whenever I have to leave.  I'm not sure if it's because she's truly sad because I've left or if she's actually mad that I left.   Nonetheless, my times away from the house without her are far and few between and are usually for necessity and not recreation.  Even when we leave the house, she must be the one to hold my hand.  If my hands are full she holds on to my pockets or purse.  If I'm in the living, so is she.  If I'm in the kitchen so is she.  I know she will need to learn that I will always come back but for now if I don't have to leave, I'd rather not.  I want her to be content.

Crystal is a fashionista.  Where Joseph is all boy, Crystal is totally all girl.  She loves to coordinate her clothes, hair ties, socks, shoes, etc.  She saves her money for the newest and coolest fashion accessories.  She dictates to me how her hair needs to be done.  She carefully chooses her body mist for each day.  When she's dressed and ready she poses in front of door and asks "How beautiful am I today, Mom?"  In our new house this girl will need the biggest closet.  Even when she colors, nothing is ever the color it's supposed to be but rather the color she feels it ought to be.  For her, the more color the better and the brighter the better.  Soon, she'll be giving me fashion advice.  She loves to sit at night and do my hair and put on my make-up.  Once she's done, she'll wipe it off and start all over.  She's already counting the years until she's 13 so she can wear make-up too.

Crystal has a memory like a steel trap.  She doesn't forget anything.  This will serve her well in schooling.  Because she had a late start in the education domain she was behind her peers at the start of kindergarten.  In just six months she has already caught up to them and has surpassed them in math.  She is truly a whiz with numbers.  She already understands the concept of addition and subtraction...thanks to the wonderful Disney Princess flashcards and workbooks (thanks, Zia!).  She also memorizes songs, rhymes, stories, etc.  The only caveat is that she only remembers what she is interested in...typical child!

Crystal will go far in life.  She has excellent organizational skills and the foundation of good leadership qualities which once refined will allow her to lead with love and grace.  She also has the desire to do well.  This means so much in life.  Without desire, your skills mean nothing.  She will be something wonderful.  For now, she's my wonderful child.