The "Why"

In the military, "the why" is the most important.  A mission statement is given in the form of a sentence consisting of the 5 W's of the mission.  For example:  "NLT (No Later Than) 2000, on 25 July, kill or capture (insert name of bad guy) in the vicinity of his residence IOT (in order to) remove the leader of the logistics arm of the terrorist cell."  So "the why" always comes after the "in order to" in a mission.  "The why" explains to the men going to carry out a mission why they must put themselves in harm's way.  So, from a leader's perspective, it should be pretty clear why "they why" is the most important part of the mission statement.

 

Now, that is the basis of "the why" but leaders should apply this to everything they order their men or women to do.  What is "the why" behind military discipline?  What about physical fitness in the military? What about keeping one's weapon clean?  I could go on and many answers to these questions may be self explanatory like the last one.  One should keep their weapon clean so that it functions correctly when it must be used.

 

I typed those first two paragraphs so that you could understand the perspective from which I ask the following question:  What is "the why" of each of our lives?

 

Some may be thinking about a "calling" or a career field where they should find work.  Some may think they live to enjoy life with their family--a spouse and children.  This question has been on my mind and heart recently as I pursue different career path options and as we expand our family with two adolescent boys from Ethiopia.

 

Here is a different perspective that I've viewed this question and it has helped me answer it more accurately:  What is "the why" for which we were created?  Or in plain English, why were we created?

 

I believe the answer to this question is the same for all of us and that it is simply that we have a relationship with God, our Creator.  Everything in our lives should support, facilitate, and strengthen that relationship including the relationships we have with each other.  In addition, we should seek to support, facilitate, and strengthen the relationship between others and God.  The entire Bible points toward a God that is constantly seeking to establish and reestablish a relationship with us.   When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment is, he answered:  "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind, with all your strength, and with all your soul."  And though he was not asked what the second greatest commandment is, he went on:  "And the second is like it, Love your neighbor as yourself.  All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."  So when asked what the greatest commandment was by an "expert in the Law," he just summed up the entire Old Testament (and the New Testament wasn't written yet so really he summed up all the Scriptures) in a few short sentences.

 

Love God and love your neighbor.  Now let me put this in a military-style mission statement.  When you are created and NLT you take your last breath, in any situation you find yourself on this earth, love God and love your neighbor IOT have a relationship with God, our creator and help others to do the same.  That is it.  Simple!

 

So have you ever wander what your "calling" is or what your life should look like or what you are supposed to do?

 

If you wonder why Sarah and I have decided to do the things we do, there it is.  God has put us in a position and provided us with the resources to parent the four children we have and the two that are coming.  We have loved God and he has blessed us in a way that we can take that blessing to love a few orphans.  There is no other reason.  There shouldn't be any other reason.

 

All our lives should not look the same.  We are the Body of Christ and God gives each of us resources to serve our own party of the body.  I encourage you not to wait for the resources.  They are right in front of you.  Use them and carry out the mission statement God has for all of us.

 

God Bless!

Sweet Memories

I know many of you saw these on FB but I do want to chronicle these on our blog too.

 

Sweet Memories Together

Making "Deployment Pillowcases" for the kids.  They LOVED them!

Daddy and Crystal

Daddy and Joseph

Daddy and Amanda

Daddy and Brea Scott

Momma and her babies

Amanda trying to crack her peanuts at the Texas Roadhouse

Joseph and his peanuts.

Daddy and Brea with her peanuts

Daddy and his big girls

Crystal

Joseph enjoying his ribs

Momma with her oldest and youngest

Last night campfire!

My heart

This was a wonderful way to spend our last night together

Daddy and the kids

The six of us

Getting in a last few jumps

Goodnight, Amanda

Goodnight Crystal

Daddy and Brooke, his old girl

Daddy and Brea Scott

Daddy and Baby Bekah

Goodnight, Joseph

Our last breakfast together

Getting ready to go

Our family

<3

All the 7-tons ready for luggage

Daddy's luggage...only this much for 5-6 months!

 

"I know who goes before me, I know who stands behind; the God of angel armies is always by my side.  I know who reigns forever, He is a friend of mine; the God of angel armies is always by my side."

Words from Jordan

So Many Thank You's

Sarah told me that I should put something on the blog before I leave.  I'm glad she pushed me to do this since I never post on the blog.  If I have the time and I think about it, I will try to post writings while I'm deployed.

 

Besides all the thank you's that must be said, I've had something on my heart over the past couple of weeks that I wanted to share.  That will be posted in a separate post after this one.

 

I want this one to be short and solely a thank you to all those that have supported us with the international adoption we are currently processing and with the four wonderful children we have adopted and parented for almost two years now....time flies!!

 

I can't even attempt to thank each person by name.  I don't even know who they are.  Thankfully, our God does.  We've had people give us $10 and we've had people give us thousands of dollars.  We've received much of others' time, energy, and resources to put on fundraisers and we've received hundreds of dollars in kids clothes, arts and crafts, and toys for the kids.  It is easy to spell out the tangible things that we have been blessed with and the expense and from the giving hearts of others but not so easy to see the intangible things.  The prayers that we have been on the receiving end of and the countless words of encouragement to us as we move along this exciting yet taxing chapter in our lives have blessed us as much if not more than the tangible things.

 

I want to list several of Sarah and I's close friends and family that have given much of themselves in the form of their time, energy, money, and other resources to bless us and be a part of what God is doing in the lives of six of His children:

 

Scott and Fran Snyder, Kayla Snyder, Brandon and Domenica Snyder, Nicole "Aunt Tina" Fisher, Shelly Sandom, Carolyn Leiberher, Crystal "Aunt  Annie" White as well as the entire White family, Sheldon and Debbie Ames, Steven and Jane Allen, Sarah Williams, Katherine Wendling, Aaron Holman and the youth that he rallied to help us during the "Parents Night Out" fundraiser, Wayne and Heather Nowell for their constant, caring friendship and eagerness to always help us out, Pastors Dan Nold, Dan Dorsey, and Stacy Sublett and Calvary Baptist Church in State College, PA, and JT and Erin Bell who have blessed us with pictures and videos of our boys from Ethiopia.

 

If you are reading this and did not make the list, please do not feel inadequate or unrecognized.  We are truly thankful for the small gifts as well as the large ones.  I wanted to thank by name those that were involved in helping make our fundraisers happen as well as those that have been close friends and support to us over the past two years.  Those names are only a fraction of a percentage of those that have supported us.  Many have done what God has given them the ability to do and it has richly blessed us (Romans 12--the Body of Christ).  We are eternally grateful and so are our children.

 

One person that I have not mentioned and who deserves more credit than anyone else on this earth for making a difference in the lives of six wonderful children is my lovely wife, Sarah.  She is a wife of a deploying Marine, a mother of four and soon six, a wonderful cook, a caretaker, a homemaker, a financial manager, a teacher, a Sunday school teacher, a Sunday school administrator, and I could go on.  She sacrifices more than any woman I have seen and does it with love, compassion, humility, and an eagerness to give more.  I've tried to teach her to tell people "no" but she always insists on helping even if she really doesn't want to.  That is sacrifice and that is stepping out of your comfort zone.  She is a tremendous example for young and middle aged women and is a role model for teens and young adults.

 

Sarah:  You are my only true love and I will miss you dearly over the next five months.  I will eagerly await to be reunited with you and the kids and to bring home two more orphans in order to bless them with the opportunity to live out their full potential in Christ.  You are the strongest, most independent woman I know and I could not think of a better match for me as I constantly find myself engulfed at work.  I will never be able to thank you enough for all you are to our family.  I only hope that I will bless you half as much as you have blessed me.  I love you, sweetheart.

My Other [Better] Half

I've been trying to figure out how to write this (without sounding like a sap or like an emotionless creature) and when to write it (before he leaves or after he leaves).  While I still have tight reign of my emotions...which I intend to continue to do...I thought before would be a better option.  Plus, I have all sorts of house projects needing attention once he's gone :)

Jordan's leaving for deployment in just a few short days.  I struggle with what to write because I struggle with what I feel.

On one hand, I'm not worried in the least.  I'm used to running this ship alone and I have no doubt in my ability to continue to do so.  The kids and I are used to Jordan not being here often and we're used to him gone for days and weeks in the field.  I have absolutely wonderful family and friends who have already showered my calendar with visits amidst our already busy schedule.  The kids and I have a few trips planned to PA to break up the time over these next few months.  Joseph wants to go to NY for his birthday (a running trend in our house) to tour the city and visit his Aunt Annie and Uncle Joe...without his sisters of course :)   The girls have their first dance recital and at this point we're down to floor space for our guests!  I also plan to paint...the entire house (caution:  if you visit at the time of painting I may toss a paint brush in your hand and not feed you until your job is done!).  I have shelving that I want to hang.  We're switching up the kids' bedrooms to accommodate the new boys.  I have to prepare for their arrival with beds, mattresses, clothes, shoes, and bikes.  I'll be flying to Ethiopia with my life-saver-of-a-sister.  The kids have summer camps to attend and oceans to swim.  Time will fly fast.  For once I am very glad of this busy season of life.

However, on the other hand while I am confident we'll be "just fine" we sure are going to miss Jordan.  He is a strong, unwaivering presence for us.  I know I'm terribly biased but Jordan is one of the most solid and sound men I know.  He loves me well, just the way that I need loved.  He understands my independent spirit and encourages it rather than squashes it.  He works hard and doesn't complain.  He trusts my judgement while helping me see all angles of the situation.  He understands that I love my dogs like children and allows me to treat them as such (yes, I still want one more).  He entertains my crazy ideas and helps me dream big.  He's the father of my greatest treasures and the keeper of my heart.    

I'm not a fan of tears and crying.  I'm not a fan of pity-parties and the poor-me mentality.  I'm truly not a fan of emotions.  I prefer to "keep myself in check" and carry-on with life as usual.  I find solace in my solitude and comfort in The Word.  Yes, I do have moments where life gets the best of me, but I prefer to keep those myself and after a few moments dry it up and move forward.  I've been treasuring the last few days of watching Jordan tuck the kids into bed, wrestle with them on the floor, chase after them in the yard, and pop them on the trampoline.  I'll tuck those into my memory bank and draw on those as needed.

What do I need?  Nothing, really.  Well, you can send down coffee, wine, bubble bath, or a painter and I won't turn it away :) 

What can you do?  Pray for the children.  Pray that their hearts are guarded from feelings of abandonment.  Pray that I can fill their little love tanks and offer the reassuring presence they need.  Pray they use this as an opportunity to grow their faith.  If you feel inclined, send them love notes in the mail.  They love mail and always feel special when the receive it.

I feel like a broken record but I am so grateful for our family and friends.  God has richly blessed me with the most loving, caring, and giving family and friends.  While part of my heart is a tiny bit sad, it is overcome with gratitude for all that I have.

Sneaky Peaky Secret Angel

This is for you, you little sneaky peaky secret angel:

Some special person carefully disguised their handwriting and mailed us a HUGE wad of cash to put towards the adoption of our sons.

Thank you for your heart, thank you for your generousity, thank you for your willingness to serve those living in the margins of life.

Let me be clear - this goes WAY beyond "helping Sarah and Jordan because they are nice people."  You are making your mark by loving "the least of these."

We are humbled and grateful...again.

Messin' with My Mess

I have gone round and round about writing this post.  I figured I'd either sound like a pompous windbag or a crazy lady ready for the dementia ward.  So, in keeping with my "she must be nuts" profile here it goes...

God's really been messing with me lately.  More specifically He's been messing with my mess.  My mess that I call life.

Wait, what?  You are living the American Dream. 

Exactly - my mess.

I live in a brand-new, beautifully decorated 3400 square foot home.  Families all over the world are struggling to keep a tin shanty or straw hut at best.

I have plenty of food for all six (read: sixty-six) of us - let's not even talk about the quality of food we eat.  People are regularly going to bed starving and children are literally dying of hunger.

I pay my bills on time, every time.  Families live on less than a dollar/day...without electricity, heat, and running water.

I have a husband who adores me just as much as I adore him.  Woman are being abused throughout the entire Earth.

I have four gorgeous children who are my treasures, my heart, and my soul.  So many children are orphaned, mistreated, and unloved.

All six of us have regular medical access, vaccinations, medications, and top-of-the-line medical care.  People are dying of things as "simple" as diarrhea.

We have over 40 coats between the six of us.  The homeless are thankful for a newspaper.

I can praise God without fear, but I so often fear proclaiming His name so I don't offend anyone.  Others are losing their very lives (read: brutually murdered) for the sake of the Gospel.

I serve a God who is madly in love with me, who is full of grace and mercy, who fights on my behalf, who picks me up when I am down, who rejoices in my joys, and who is all I need.  And there are so many who don't know Him or know about Him...quite a few whom with I have daily contact.

This has been hitting me hard.  I can do so much  more for Him.  I can do so much more for others.

But Sarah, you guys have adopted four children and are adopting two more.  Surely, that's enough.

Really, is that enough?  Never in scripture have I read that by fulfilling a certain quota or giving a certain amount of money, or by serving as a volunteer for X number of places that I could do "enough." 

But adopting six kids...

Friends, God has given me a heart for adoption.  It brings me joy to adopt.  That truly is one of the desires of my heart.  While the struggles are great, it still brings me joy.  What I'm talking about are the things that don't necessarily bring me joy or things I don't find it easy to do...like giving up what I have...giving up myself...total surrender.

After reading more scripture and more books (you MUST read "7" by Jen Hatmaker) I have come to realize that I am living in a way that I don't think I (read: me...not you...not the lady down the street...just me) am intended to live.  I can do so much more while still having so much less.  Do I need three winter coats...in North Carolina?  Do I need 4 sets of sheets...for each of our six beds?  Do we need to regularly eat sushi?  Do my girls need the best tutus in their dance class?  Does my son need designer shoes?  Do I need a closet that is bigger than some people's bedrooms?

I don't know.  I really don't know the answer.  What I do know is that there is a tugging inside of me telling me that I can do more...that I am meant for more.  While I write this I am justifying my answers to this.  Here is what is going on in my head:
But I tithe, but I give to the poor, but I volunteer at church, but I always welcome others in  my home, but we will soon have six children, but I pay all my bills, but I bought them on sale, but I have so much less than some others, but I am responsible with what I have, but I sponser a child in an orphanage...  I could literally go on for a page like this.

Please hear me:  I am pointing my finger at no one other than myself.  I know this internal unrest is because a change needs to happen.  I need to be obedient and figure out what it is and do it.  Just the thought of that scares me.  What if I don't want to do what He wants me to do? 

While researching some facts about those in the margins of life I came across a few that greatly impacted me.  Let me leave you with these:

 - 1 billion children suffer from at least one form of severe deprivation of either food, water, or sanitation
- Of the children who age-out of orphanages, 60% of girls become prostitutes and 70% of boys become hardened criminals
- 6,000 children are orphaned by AIDS every single day
- 26,000 children die every day from disease or malnutrition
- Every two seconds an orphan dies of malnutrition
- 95% of all orphans are over the age of five
- If all orphans formed a country of their own, it would be among the 10 largest nations in the world
- Every 2.2 seconds another orphan ages out with no family to belong and no place to go
- Every day 5,760 more children become orphans
- There are approximately 147 million orphans in the world

Do you get what I'm feeling?  We live in a first would country full of first world problems.  Instead of wondering if we will eat, we wonder where we should eat.  Instead of wondering if we have clothes to wear, we spend an eternity figuring out what to wear from jammed closets and dressers, instead of wondering how we will stay warm, we wonder if we should turn up the heat or turn on the fire-place.  Instead of wondering where we will sleep, we wonder about what show we'll watch while we lay in our comfy beds.  Instead of falling asleep at night wondering if we are loved, we lay our heads down and can easily count people who love us.  Instead of wondering how to spend our last dollar, we stand at the Starbucks counter wondering what to order.

Again - there is absolutely no finger pointing and no sense of condemnation to anyone other than myself.  But I am curious...does anyone feel what I feel?

T-Shirts and Thank You's

Wow.  I have wanted to write this post for about a day about I couldn't quite find appropriate words.  I am so humbled.  I'm humbled to the point of tears.  I am so grateful.  I'm grateful to the point of being speechless.

Ever since our plea for help you guys have been pouring out of the woodwork with donations, fundraisers, ideas, and support.  Again, folks I don't even know are stepping up to the plate to fight for the cause of the orphan...of my boys.  I keep thinking to myself "I don't deserve this, I really don't deserve this."  God brought it to my attention that I'm right.  I don't deserve this.  But my boys do.  I don't deserve any of the good and perfect gifts He bestows upon me...but I am His child and He longs to bless us.

Our Father has such a huge heart for orphans and He has made that clear in scripture over and over again.  You guys "out there" are doing His will by helping these orphans.  You are being the hands and feet of Jesus.  You are all busy with your own families, own jobs, own problems, and own joys yet you are reaching out to help two young boys half way across the world.  I'm am in tears again as I write this.  I love the LOVE that adoption inspires in everyone.  I'm sure it was intended that way.  After all, God has a heart for adoption and we're made in His image...so, I can see where that logic makes sense.

We're kicking off another fundraiser: T-Shirts!  I designed the T-shirts myself so they would be especially near and dear to my heart.  There are approximately 147 million orphans in the world.  Gosh.  Then, the "minus 2" represents our two boys.  The two handprints (meant to represent our two boys again) in Africa are placed where the country of Ethiopia is.  The verse at the bottom is a promise to us from God.
If you would like to order a t-shirt you can contact me via email (amessj23@hotmail.com), Facebook, or any other method.  If you are willing to sell t-shirts, too, that would be wonderful.  I can email you or snail-mail you the order form.  Every little bit helps :)  I've included the designs below.







Men's T-Shirt Design

Stone Blue Shirt w/ Black Lettering

Sizes: S, M, L, XL, 2XL

 

Women's T-Shirt Design

Black Shirt w/ Hot Pink Lettering

*Fitted Cut Design*

Sizes: S, M, L, XL

 

Youth T-Shirt Design

Red Shirt w/ Black Lettering

Sizes: S, M, L

 

All shirts are $15 or 2 or $25

(other sizes may be available, talk to me about your needs)

 

 

Let's bring these sweet boys home!