A Miracle

I've been sitting on a truly remarkable story for a few weeks now, partially because I knew it wasn't done unfolding and partially because I wasn't quite sure how to do it justice.  Nevertheless, I'm going to try...

A few weeks ago I was contacted by a woman I know.  She is big into adoption and deep into adoption.  She happened to come across a post on an adoption feed.  She contacted me and sent me the feed.  It read this (names have been omitted for privacy and per protocol):


My name is T--- L---. Last year I adopted two brothers by the names of E--- and A--- out of Addis from the T---- orphanage. I was told by my placement agency that their best friends, M---- and N---- were being adopted by a family through Dove agency.  My goal in posting this is to reunite these close friends. If anyone has any information regarding M---- and N----, you can reply to this post or contact me privately at t------@gmail.com.
My sons ask consistently about M----- and N----- and miss them greatly. I would love to have the opportunity to give them the gift of seeing or hearing from them again.  Along with my contact info., can you also tell them that E---- and A----- send their fondest hello's and that they miss them like brothers.

Thanks,
T----

Needless to say, she sent this information to me.  Of course I called this woman  and she just about jumped through the phone when I introduced myself.  She truly is a remarkable, God-fearing woman.  She is a mother of twelve - 10 biological and 2 adopted.  We exchanged stories and pleasantries until we both figured out we were decent human beings :) 
Then she mentioned that she would love the chance for our boys to reunite shortly after they come home with us.  She was unconcerned with the cost or the distance.  But, you'll never guess...
They not only live in our state but they only live about 1.5-2 hours away.  Again, I find it no simply coincidence that four boys who consider themselves brothers in an orphanage half way around the world end up with families who live so close to each other.
Her boys are ecstatic and mine will be as soon as they receive my letter telling them this (along with quite a few pictures of their "brothers").

Hold on, though, this story gets better.

This woman also keeps a blog that I have been reading in bits and pieces.  Here is part of a post from a year and half ago (again, names blanked out...I've also underlined some key components):

As I was typing this post, S---[her husband] called. They went to court today and our boys, E---and A--- are officially OUR boys....they are MY sons! They now have our last name!! Today a new branch has been grafted to our family tree.

Thank you, Lord, for the gift of adoption.

S--- said the first thing they did was go back to the orphanage and tell E---- and A---- that they were officially our sons today and that we would bring them home in a couple of weeks.

Then there was silence. And S--- said, "But there are others, T----."

And he began to tell me of another set of brothers who were just amazing boys... He said he noticed the dejection in the faces of some of the other children when he came back to tell E--- and A--- the good news. His heart has been pricked deeply by the need of these children for a family. But his main concern was for these other brothers aged 11 and 12. No one has even once inquired about them. They have been separated from a sister that was adopted over to Spain. Oh, the need is so great. I want to take them all.

My boys have been on this family's heart for over a year.  We've heard from our friends Erin and JT how wonderful our boys are but to hear it from a complete stranger who never even knew us is absolutely astonishing.

Hold on, though, this story gets better.

T---- called me last week.  Another woman, C---,  has been looking for my boys, too and asked T--- if she could pass on my contact information.  Of course I called this woman.  We both told our stories.  She adopted a girl from the same orphanage nearly three years ago.  Her daughter longs for my boys and misses them dearly.  Apparently, my boys sort of "adopted" her as a little sister and always took special care of her.  C--- spent approximately two weeks at the orphanage and also tells of the sensitive, meek, and mild personalities of my boys.  She, too, fell in love with them.  She is going to send me pictures of her daughter so I can tell our boys (M---- and N----) the good news.  But wouldn't you know, she lives in NJ, just a short distance from my parents.  Both she and her daughter are eagerly awaiting our first trip to PA so they can come and be reunited.

Hold on, though, this story gets better.

Our friends Erin and JT had told us that there is a boy at the orphanage who is about the same age as our boys.  They are the three oldest boys there and they all love each other very much.  He has no one adopting him.  Jordan and I talked about and decided we would adopt him if we could.  We made all the necessary phone calls but quite unfortunately it didn't work out.  We were all pretty bummed.  But God, being the awesome God He is had another plan...

Remember my friend, T---?!?!?  I just was formally notified by her that their family is adopting this third boy!!!  I simply cannot believe that these five boys who love each other so much will be within VERY easy visiting distance from one another.

God's great hand of mercy is all over the orphan and His heart is HUGE for them.  We know that from scripture.  This story confirms that even more.  Friends, this is not a simple chain of coincidences.  I truly don't think that even one of these events is a coincidence.  Put them all together and I'd like to call them a miracle...a miracle that I have the privilege of witnessing first-hand :) 

730

 2 years = 24 months = 104 weeks = 730 days = 17,520 hours

 

As of today, this is how long we've had our children.

 

 

Some people call this day "Gotcha Day."  Right now we don't call it anything or we don't celebrate it.  The children still remember the discomfort of the day so this is one of the days we hardly discuss.  I'll secretly rejoice in my heart.  We save the partying and celebrations for "Adoption Day."  That is the day the children longed for and eagerly anticipated and that is the day they remember as joyous and special.

 

 

 

 

Between April 16, 2011 and April 16, 2013 I have learned more than I have learned in my whole life combined.  That's not a joke.  That's not an exaggeration.  As I anticipated writing this blog I've been trying to think of what I learned the most about.

 

 

Redemption

 

Adoption isn't only about building a family.  Adoption isn't just about saving a child.  Adoption is a lot about redemption.  When I look back and remember my children as they were then and then I step back and see who they are now, God's redemption story is written all over them.

 

My children knew nothing of unconditional love, nothing of sacrifice, nothing of God, nothing of their Savior, no prayers, no family outings, no holiday traditions, no grace, no peace, no patience.  For those of you who have closely walked this journey with us take a moment and remember the children two years ago.  Remember the three-plus hour tantrums, remember the continual mistrust, remember the severe attention-getting behaviors, remember the withdrawal, remember the fear, remember the anxiety, remember the testing of boundaries over and over again.

 

When I do that it used to make me sad. 

 

Now, however, I  rejoice.

 

 

God has had His mighty hand in their hearts from the very start, preparing them for this journey, preparing them for a life for Him.  Of this I am fully confident.

 

We still have our moments nearly every day...but they are different than before.  We still go to therapy and we still work through issues...but they are different than before.  The children know God.  They love God.  They praise God.  They cling to God.  Though their life story has had a rough start and they know the ugly side of adoption...you know, the side where you're torn from your parents, feelings of abandonment, the great "what-if-it-doesn't-really-happen" and the many, many adjustments...they know and understand the beauty of adoption. 

It was with their encouragement that we pursued our Ethiopian boys so quickly, it was their idea to mail big packages to our church orphanage in Rwanda, it was with their very own money that they went shopping for their new brothers and bought them gifts, and it is with their very own mouths that they speak of the day they will adopt children too.  This, my friends, is redemption at its best. 

 

God has taken the lost and made them His found.

 

Just.Like.He.Promised.

April 2011

April 2012

April 2013

 

 



 

 

You Did WHAT?!?!

I took a nap.  That's right.  I took a nap...and I'm not afraid to say so.

I have yet to take a nap in this house except for when I was sick.  My plan has always been to work as hard as I can during the day so that when the kids go to bed I can relax. 

The problem has been that I've got a lot on my plate right now (different projects, kids' activities, church stuff, school stuff, etc) and I haven't been able to relax after the kids were in bed.  Well, I exaggerate a tad.  I could relax.  But you see, I have this disorder that doesn't let me rest until a project is finished...and finished the right way.  I swear it's the Rubinic in me.  All of you who have the Rubinic blood in you fully understand what I mean.  There is no rest until projects and chores are done.  I like that about me but sometimes it near exhausts me!

What really put me behind was our trip to PA.  We had blast but traveling alone both ways with four kids and two dogs takes a toll on this old body.  The kids and dogs were excellent.  I am blessed to have well-behaved children who travel like champs.  Each trip was 500 miles and we only had to stop once (see, my kids are awesome).  Then, once we get to PA no matter how well I try to plan, we always end up being over-booked and stretched.  I LOVE reconnecting with my friends and family and wouldn't have it any other way but goodness.  It wears us all out.  A lot.  And that is with my family and friends helping out.  A lot.  Friends bring me dinners, wine and good conversations.  My parents, brother and sister cook, clean, do our laundry, take out my dogs, feed my dogs, bathe the kids, etc.  I'm sure they are just as tired as I am.

I returned to the projects I left behind (thankfully the house was cleaned before I left) along with a few mounting projects that needed done right away.  I had some wonderful ladies come down and do many of my big projects for me.  What a blessing.  Since the kids had spring break I scheduled every doctor, dentist, and therapy appointment I could.  I was over-ambitious.  Terribly so.  On top of that I've been getting up in the middle of the night with Brooke.  I have no idea way she is all of a sudden waking me up but she does.  And I comply.  I bet she misses her daddy.

So, today while I should have been working on my next project for church while my two little girls were napping I snatched up my dogs and the neighbor's dog and took a nap...for an hour.  It was glorious.  It was so wonderful I fear I may just do it again some day.  That would be the Snyder in me :)

Jordan's doing well, the kids are doing wonderfully, my dogs are angels, and I'm content and blessed beyond belief.  My heart is full.

The "Why"

In the military, "the why" is the most important.  A mission statement is given in the form of a sentence consisting of the 5 W's of the mission.  For example:  "NLT (No Later Than) 2000, on 25 July, kill or capture (insert name of bad guy) in the vicinity of his residence IOT (in order to) remove the leader of the logistics arm of the terrorist cell."  So "the why" always comes after the "in order to" in a mission.  "The why" explains to the men going to carry out a mission why they must put themselves in harm's way.  So, from a leader's perspective, it should be pretty clear why "they why" is the most important part of the mission statement.

 

Now, that is the basis of "the why" but leaders should apply this to everything they order their men or women to do.  What is "the why" behind military discipline?  What about physical fitness in the military? What about keeping one's weapon clean?  I could go on and many answers to these questions may be self explanatory like the last one.  One should keep their weapon clean so that it functions correctly when it must be used.

 

I typed those first two paragraphs so that you could understand the perspective from which I ask the following question:  What is "the why" of each of our lives?

 

Some may be thinking about a "calling" or a career field where they should find work.  Some may think they live to enjoy life with their family--a spouse and children.  This question has been on my mind and heart recently as I pursue different career path options and as we expand our family with two adolescent boys from Ethiopia.

 

Here is a different perspective that I've viewed this question and it has helped me answer it more accurately:  What is "the why" for which we were created?  Or in plain English, why were we created?

 

I believe the answer to this question is the same for all of us and that it is simply that we have a relationship with God, our Creator.  Everything in our lives should support, facilitate, and strengthen that relationship including the relationships we have with each other.  In addition, we should seek to support, facilitate, and strengthen the relationship between others and God.  The entire Bible points toward a God that is constantly seeking to establish and reestablish a relationship with us.   When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment is, he answered:  "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind, with all your strength, and with all your soul."  And though he was not asked what the second greatest commandment is, he went on:  "And the second is like it, Love your neighbor as yourself.  All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."  So when asked what the greatest commandment was by an "expert in the Law," he just summed up the entire Old Testament (and the New Testament wasn't written yet so really he summed up all the Scriptures) in a few short sentences.

 

Love God and love your neighbor.  Now let me put this in a military-style mission statement.  When you are created and NLT you take your last breath, in any situation you find yourself on this earth, love God and love your neighbor IOT have a relationship with God, our creator and help others to do the same.  That is it.  Simple!

 

So have you ever wander what your "calling" is or what your life should look like or what you are supposed to do?

 

If you wonder why Sarah and I have decided to do the things we do, there it is.  God has put us in a position and provided us with the resources to parent the four children we have and the two that are coming.  We have loved God and he has blessed us in a way that we can take that blessing to love a few orphans.  There is no other reason.  There shouldn't be any other reason.

 

All our lives should not look the same.  We are the Body of Christ and God gives each of us resources to serve our own party of the body.  I encourage you not to wait for the resources.  They are right in front of you.  Use them and carry out the mission statement God has for all of us.

 

God Bless!

Sweet Memories

I know many of you saw these on FB but I do want to chronicle these on our blog too.

 

Sweet Memories Together

Making "Deployment Pillowcases" for the kids.  They LOVED them!

Daddy and Crystal

Daddy and Joseph

Daddy and Amanda

Daddy and Brea Scott

Momma and her babies

Amanda trying to crack her peanuts at the Texas Roadhouse

Joseph and his peanuts.

Daddy and Brea with her peanuts

Daddy and his big girls

Crystal

Joseph enjoying his ribs

Momma with her oldest and youngest

Last night campfire!

My heart

This was a wonderful way to spend our last night together

Daddy and the kids

The six of us

Getting in a last few jumps

Goodnight, Amanda

Goodnight Crystal

Daddy and Brooke, his old girl

Daddy and Brea Scott

Daddy and Baby Bekah

Goodnight, Joseph

Our last breakfast together

Getting ready to go

Our family

<3

All the 7-tons ready for luggage

Daddy's luggage...only this much for 5-6 months!

 

"I know who goes before me, I know who stands behind; the God of angel armies is always by my side.  I know who reigns forever, He is a friend of mine; the God of angel armies is always by my side."

Words from Jordan

So Many Thank You's

Sarah told me that I should put something on the blog before I leave.  I'm glad she pushed me to do this since I never post on the blog.  If I have the time and I think about it, I will try to post writings while I'm deployed.

 

Besides all the thank you's that must be said, I've had something on my heart over the past couple of weeks that I wanted to share.  That will be posted in a separate post after this one.

 

I want this one to be short and solely a thank you to all those that have supported us with the international adoption we are currently processing and with the four wonderful children we have adopted and parented for almost two years now....time flies!!

 

I can't even attempt to thank each person by name.  I don't even know who they are.  Thankfully, our God does.  We've had people give us $10 and we've had people give us thousands of dollars.  We've received much of others' time, energy, and resources to put on fundraisers and we've received hundreds of dollars in kids clothes, arts and crafts, and toys for the kids.  It is easy to spell out the tangible things that we have been blessed with and the expense and from the giving hearts of others but not so easy to see the intangible things.  The prayers that we have been on the receiving end of and the countless words of encouragement to us as we move along this exciting yet taxing chapter in our lives have blessed us as much if not more than the tangible things.

 

I want to list several of Sarah and I's close friends and family that have given much of themselves in the form of their time, energy, money, and other resources to bless us and be a part of what God is doing in the lives of six of His children:

 

Scott and Fran Snyder, Kayla Snyder, Brandon and Domenica Snyder, Nicole "Aunt Tina" Fisher, Shelly Sandom, Carolyn Leiberher, Crystal "Aunt  Annie" White as well as the entire White family, Sheldon and Debbie Ames, Steven and Jane Allen, Sarah Williams, Katherine Wendling, Aaron Holman and the youth that he rallied to help us during the "Parents Night Out" fundraiser, Wayne and Heather Nowell for their constant, caring friendship and eagerness to always help us out, Pastors Dan Nold, Dan Dorsey, and Stacy Sublett and Calvary Baptist Church in State College, PA, and JT and Erin Bell who have blessed us with pictures and videos of our boys from Ethiopia.

 

If you are reading this and did not make the list, please do not feel inadequate or unrecognized.  We are truly thankful for the small gifts as well as the large ones.  I wanted to thank by name those that were involved in helping make our fundraisers happen as well as those that have been close friends and support to us over the past two years.  Those names are only a fraction of a percentage of those that have supported us.  Many have done what God has given them the ability to do and it has richly blessed us (Romans 12--the Body of Christ).  We are eternally grateful and so are our children.

 

One person that I have not mentioned and who deserves more credit than anyone else on this earth for making a difference in the lives of six wonderful children is my lovely wife, Sarah.  She is a wife of a deploying Marine, a mother of four and soon six, a wonderful cook, a caretaker, a homemaker, a financial manager, a teacher, a Sunday school teacher, a Sunday school administrator, and I could go on.  She sacrifices more than any woman I have seen and does it with love, compassion, humility, and an eagerness to give more.  I've tried to teach her to tell people "no" but she always insists on helping even if she really doesn't want to.  That is sacrifice and that is stepping out of your comfort zone.  She is a tremendous example for young and middle aged women and is a role model for teens and young adults.

 

Sarah:  You are my only true love and I will miss you dearly over the next five months.  I will eagerly await to be reunited with you and the kids and to bring home two more orphans in order to bless them with the opportunity to live out their full potential in Christ.  You are the strongest, most independent woman I know and I could not think of a better match for me as I constantly find myself engulfed at work.  I will never be able to thank you enough for all you are to our family.  I only hope that I will bless you half as much as you have blessed me.  I love you, sweetheart.

My Other [Better] Half

I've been trying to figure out how to write this (without sounding like a sap or like an emotionless creature) and when to write it (before he leaves or after he leaves).  While I still have tight reign of my emotions...which I intend to continue to do...I thought before would be a better option.  Plus, I have all sorts of house projects needing attention once he's gone :)

Jordan's leaving for deployment in just a few short days.  I struggle with what to write because I struggle with what I feel.

On one hand, I'm not worried in the least.  I'm used to running this ship alone and I have no doubt in my ability to continue to do so.  The kids and I are used to Jordan not being here often and we're used to him gone for days and weeks in the field.  I have absolutely wonderful family and friends who have already showered my calendar with visits amidst our already busy schedule.  The kids and I have a few trips planned to PA to break up the time over these next few months.  Joseph wants to go to NY for his birthday (a running trend in our house) to tour the city and visit his Aunt Annie and Uncle Joe...without his sisters of course :)   The girls have their first dance recital and at this point we're down to floor space for our guests!  I also plan to paint...the entire house (caution:  if you visit at the time of painting I may toss a paint brush in your hand and not feed you until your job is done!).  I have shelving that I want to hang.  We're switching up the kids' bedrooms to accommodate the new boys.  I have to prepare for their arrival with beds, mattresses, clothes, shoes, and bikes.  I'll be flying to Ethiopia with my life-saver-of-a-sister.  The kids have summer camps to attend and oceans to swim.  Time will fly fast.  For once I am very glad of this busy season of life.

However, on the other hand while I am confident we'll be "just fine" we sure are going to miss Jordan.  He is a strong, unwaivering presence for us.  I know I'm terribly biased but Jordan is one of the most solid and sound men I know.  He loves me well, just the way that I need loved.  He understands my independent spirit and encourages it rather than squashes it.  He works hard and doesn't complain.  He trusts my judgement while helping me see all angles of the situation.  He understands that I love my dogs like children and allows me to treat them as such (yes, I still want one more).  He entertains my crazy ideas and helps me dream big.  He's the father of my greatest treasures and the keeper of my heart.    

I'm not a fan of tears and crying.  I'm not a fan of pity-parties and the poor-me mentality.  I'm truly not a fan of emotions.  I prefer to "keep myself in check" and carry-on with life as usual.  I find solace in my solitude and comfort in The Word.  Yes, I do have moments where life gets the best of me, but I prefer to keep those myself and after a few moments dry it up and move forward.  I've been treasuring the last few days of watching Jordan tuck the kids into bed, wrestle with them on the floor, chase after them in the yard, and pop them on the trampoline.  I'll tuck those into my memory bank and draw on those as needed.

What do I need?  Nothing, really.  Well, you can send down coffee, wine, bubble bath, or a painter and I won't turn it away :) 

What can you do?  Pray for the children.  Pray that their hearts are guarded from feelings of abandonment.  Pray that I can fill their little love tanks and offer the reassuring presence they need.  Pray they use this as an opportunity to grow their faith.  If you feel inclined, send them love notes in the mail.  They love mail and always feel special when the receive it.

I feel like a broken record but I am so grateful for our family and friends.  God has richly blessed me with the most loving, caring, and giving family and friends.  While part of my heart is a tiny bit sad, it is overcome with gratitude for all that I have.