"Every good and perfect gift is from above..." James 1:17

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Africa

So I went to Africa with my sister to meet my sweet sons, Samuel and Benjamin (names they chose).  I was told this trip was going to rock my world and I figured it would.  After all, meeting my four children for the first time rocked my world.  But I was clueless as to exactly much how it would rock my world.

 
Despite all the conversations I have had with those who made this journey, despite all the literature I read and all the education requirements I completed, I was completely unprepared.
 
 
 
First and foremost I left with an injured heart.  I knew leaving my children would be hard on me but I truly had no idea how hard it actually would be. The entire trip my heart yearned for their squeaky voices and sticky hands.  Up until that point that was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life.  Little did I know a week later I would top that with the new hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life:  leaving my two children, Samuel and Benjamin, in the squalor they call home.
 
Enter:  Experience and thoughts of my trip
 
1.  The city of Addis Ababa:  I have traveled quite a bit but I've never been to a capital of a third-world country.  I truly felt I was in another world.  Perhaps in some ways I was.  Animals roam the city freely.  Cows, goats, sheep, pigs, donkeys, cats...they all roam about shops, streets, highways, and driveways as though they have not a care in the world.  People roam the city freely.  Older folks, younger folks, homeless folks, and children (very young children) all roam about the shops, streets, highways, and driveways as though they have not a care in the world.
You can't breathe.  The air is filled with smoke, smog, dust, and disease.  The sick were strewn about the sides of the roads, clearly in agony.  Our only chance to breathe fresh air was in our guest house, which was kept very clean.
The city isn't safe.  Or at least not the safe that I'd like.  Any reputable establishment like our guest house (which they aren't very many) have 10-15' barbed wire fences surrounding them with 24 hour/day guards standing at the gate.  Pretty much all other buildings are made of tin or of tarp...or some combination of both.
 
2.  The people of Addis Ababa:  There are three main groups of people we came across:  the scandalous people, the honest people, and the children.  Many people are scandalous.  They are out to hustle you and only look out for themselves and their own.  Then there are the honest people.  Our host and our escort were wonderfully honest people with great hearts (Praise God).  We felt safe when with our escort and our host made us feel like part of the family.  The children, oh the children.  I'll make a separate point for the sweet children.
 
3.  The food of Addis Ababa:  I'm not a fan of the food.  If I never taste, see, or smell injera (the National Food) again in my life I'll be thrilled.  Our host, though, was a great cook.  She did her best with what she had.  Fruits and vegetables are hard to acquire.  For them, the quality ones that are safe for us "Fragile Americans" (yes, we along with the French are considered fragile folk) are expensive and difficult to get.  They aren't as clean as we need them to be for our bodies to safely tolerate.  Refrigeration is also an issue with poor electricity and small units so dairy is out.  In a day about 85% of what I consume is a fruit, a vegetable, or dairy.  So my body was in quite a tizzy.  I hate bananas.  I actually can't stand them.  I haven't eaten them as long as anyone can remember.  But, when our host came to us with fresh bananas guess what...I ate the bananas.  Almost every day :) I gagged but I did it.  And my body loved it.
A few times we were out and about so long that we missed our lunch at our guest house so our escort would take us to a "safe" restaurant.  It was amazing at how many he drove past, went into and then walked out of, or totally just waved off before he found one that was safe enough and clean enough for us.  A few times we even ate a place and he would tell us certain items on the menu were okay but other ones were not.  It's that bad.
 
4.  The accommodations of Addis Ababa:  The place we stayed is considered "high society."  It's safe, it's clean, it has electricity (sort of) and it has plumbing (sort of).  We still couldn't drink the water, plug in our hair dryer AND have the lights on, or take a hot...or even really warm...shower.  There was no heating or no air (which lead to us wearing our airplane socks all week!).  There were no screens on the windows.  And this place is one of the good ones.  Hear me:  we truly loved our guest house and were so blessed by all they did to make us fragile folk comfortable.  But in comparison to what we are used to we felt as though we were camping a bit.  Will we stay there again - most definitely.  There is no way we could top the safety and love from our host.
 
5.  The orphanages of Addis Ababa:  We traveled to a few different orphanages.  Though some are much cleaner than others and some are much better staffed than others, and though some have more funding than others they are still orphanages.  I'm not sure exactly how much I am "allowed" to say on a public domain but hear me loudly and clearlyI wouldn't bury my worst enemy in that place let alone raise a child there.  What we saw...or what we didn't see...was unbelievable.  My mind and heart are forever changed.  The play areas (or lack thereof), the beds (or lack thereof), the clothing (or lack thereof),  the shoes (or lack thereof), the food (or lack thereof), the hygiene areas (or lack thereof)...all I can do is shake my head and pray that every child is adopted.  Adopted quickly.
 
6.  The children of Addis Ababa:  I will never know how the children are as genuinely sweet and loving as they are after living in such conditions.  There is so much joy in each one of their little hearts.  What I was most amazed at is how well they take care of each other.  Each day we brought a meal and/or fresh produce and juice for the children.  None of the older children would take any food until all the younger children were served.  None of the older children would eat any of their food until the younger children had started eating.  We took gifts, games, and other doo-dads each day.  The older children passed out the goodies to the little ones and would take what was left.  One day I gave Samuel and Benjamin their sunglasses Benjamin whispered in my ear "Mommy, come back with more" and he pointed to everyone else.  So, the next day we came back with more.  Samuel and Benjamin would speak of their love and friendship with each of the children there and then sadly say "They don't have a family" as if they were begging me to find them one.
The children love to laugh, they love to play, and they love to hug.  We were greeted and sent-off each day with dozens of hugs and kisses.  The children captured my and my sister's hearts.  They taught us so many lessons.  The most important thing they taught us is that they are real.  Very real.
 
 
You can read about, look at, support, sponsor, or pray for the orphans (all which are great things and greatly needed) but until you see them, smell them, hold them, hug them, comfort them, feed them, clothe them, and kiss them you don't really know how real they are.
 
 
For those of you who have sent and are sending donations for food, Bibles, and clothing and for those of you who have sponsored a child for our next visit -THANK YOU.  I wish you knew how much you are blessing those children.  Their little eyes absolutely just light up when they know someone else cares about them...when someone else thinks they are special.
 
If you have any questions at all or are curious about adoption please ask.  I'm happy to inform and educate no matter what decision you may make.  The more people who know about these sweet kids the better a chance they have of finding a home.  I cannot post pictures of all the children on my blog...only my own.  But I can show you privately.  They are all gifts - just like all children.
 
Thanks to many of you we took 200 lbs of donations and enough money to buy them healthy food for one meal each day

The view from our balcony.  You will see some of the building close by are decent and guarded.  A bit down the road you will see the tin/tarp shacks that people actually live in without electricity or plumbing.

A view of how folks just walk in the streets, unfinished buildings, and no proper roads

One of the many street corners where people just gather and wait for the day to be over.  You'll see the unfinished building in the background with sticks for scaffolding.


My sweet boys, Samuel and Benjamin.

Benjamin and Samuel donning their new clothes, backpacks, hates, and sunglasses.

The boys with Aunt KayKay (they were thrilled with stickers and put them all over their shirts and bodies...and so did all the other children!)

A mother and her sons

Samuel trying to teach me an ethnic dance. 

The washing station at the orphanage...where everything that needs washed is washed.

The boys on their beds.  The children share these single beds.  Older children are paired with younger children.

The boys with their Amharic Christian Bibles.  A big shout out to a special sponsor who sent enough  money to ensure all the children of age can receive their own Bible. 


This shot captures Benjamin perfectly...a fun loving wild man!

Benjamin and Aunt KayKay

Not a lovely shot but Benjamin was sure excited to eat his first hamburger!

Samuel was equally as excited to eat his first hamburger.  This was also all the children's first experience with strawberries.  They LOVED them...but needed instruction not to eat the greens :)  The juice boxes were a huge hit too.  You'll see the whites of their eyes are yellowed (true for all the children).  We hope we put a dent in the nutrition deficiencies that week.  A special shout out to another few special sponsors who have sent enough donations to ensure the children can have more than one healthy meal a day!

Going bananas for bananas!

Thanks to another sponsor who funded an orphanage pizza party one of the days.  It was a HUGE hit!




 


Sunday, August 18, 2013

I know a secret...

...We're nearing the end of deployment!

Soon my children will wake up in the morning and their daddy will be home, giving them the surprise of a life time.  Happy sigh :)  Boy, have we missed that man.

What I wanted to do (and still plan on doing in this blog) is give a picture roll of all the fun we've had while daddy's been away and give thanks to all of those who continue to support me without fail.

First, though, after hearing little comments here and there while Jordan has been away I think it is important for me to say that

I am not superwoman.
 though I'd like to be
 
I have no super powers that allow me to maintain my home and raise my children and pay my bills on time.  I have no secret force of assistants or army of ants (well, Riley you do come close buddy!) that do my chores.  I don't always manage my emotions on the inside the way it looks on the outside.
 
I am a mistake-making human.
no matter how hard I try
 
I certainly know that I have been gifted with certain traits that make being a military wife and mother of four six much easier.  I am organized, driven, pro-active, and independent.  I can keep my emotions in check (most of the time) and I generally am not affected by what others think.  I'll tell you my secret, though, on how I manage so well
 
I am a child of the one true King.
and I believe that
 
See, it looks like I run this show solo but truthfully I don't.  My Father knows it all.  He knows when I've had enough.  He knows when I need rest.  He knows when I'm in pain.  He knows when I miss Jordan so bad it physically hurts.  He knows when I'm at my wits-end and could use a pick-me-up.  He is always there for me to lean on His everlasting arms and wrap me up tightly.
 
Yes, I am Jordan's wife.  Yes, I am the mother of six beautiful children.  Yes, I am an SLP.  I am many things and wear many hats like we all do.  But I have learned not to find my identity in those titles.  All those things can be taken from me, either temporarily or permanently.  I try to remain focused that I am the child of the one true King.  The only One who will always be there for  me without fail.  The one who knows when I need help and sends my friends and family to my aid when I need it most through their kind actions, visits, calls, and cards.  That's how I made it through deployment successfully...that's how I make it through every day.
 
 
Take a minute and listen, you won't regret it!
 

 
Now, for the picture roll of fun :)
(sorry, there are about a million)
 
 
My happy crew the Sunday after Daddy left (they knew we were going out for lunch!)





 
My sweet (and first) niece, Elena, was born.  I love that baby.

I painted our entire house...minus the entryway.

Fun with Mason
Tina came down to visit me and the kids.  Despite having a family and a career she always makes time for us.  I'm grateful for her friendship, advice, and her sweet babies :)  She keeps me grounded and makes me laugh.  The good Lord knew what he was doing when he introduced us...two peas in a pod!
 
Movie night!

Had my first solo drive to PA with four kids and two dogs for a quick Easter weekend (they slept like that the whole way thanks to doggie-sedatives!)


Annual Rutherford Easter Egg Hunt

First FaceTime with daddy on Easter morning!!!
 

Joseph's first taste of baseball...

 While my girls played in the mud :)

Great Grandma made it down for a long weekend with Grammy and Grandpa.

Noah's Ark Photo Shoot







Two lovely ladies, Alyssa and Sheila, came down for a week and helped me with some house projects.  I'm so thankful for their servants hearts.
 
Building shelves in our storage area

and mulching my entire yard - thanks, ladies!
I was blessed to spend some time with sweet Victoria who kept me company while my kids were at school.  This baby is full of absolute JOY.
 

 Uncle Buddy, Aunt Tina, Baby Elena, Miss Amanda, and Abby all came down for a long weekend



The girls played...

 



While Uncle Buddy took Joseph to Boy Scout Camp...
(isn't that a good brother!)

and Brookie hid in her doggie snuggie - too many kids for the old girl!
 Joseph's first EVER baseball game
 Proud Momma

His team went on to win the championship!
(we were able to send videos of him to all the grandparents, aunts, and uncles!)

 My girls had their first EVER dance recital

 And Dance Queen, Aunt "Nannie" could make it...

and do all the make-up!

Of course, Miss Priss had to have her Uncle Chris there or she wouldn't dance :)

 Family photo shoot special at the Jacksonville Train Station







My little sissy...don't know what I'd do without her <3

I am blessed to call this woman friend.  Annie is the most giving and generous person I've ever met.  She anticipates my needs before I do and strives to meet them before I realize I need help.  We don't let the 600+ miles stand between regular visits.  We have great plans of retiring together some day.


 

Brea graduated from Pre-K
(Thank you, Noah's Ark, for taking exceptionally great care my of babies)


 Last day of school!
(little did they know I was picking them up early to head to PA for two weeks!)

"School's Out" care package from Annie...wise woman, huh?!?!  I'm so thankful for all of her thoughtfulness during this deployment.  She's well-known for her awesome care packages and cards just when I need them most.
 Grammy made sure even the dogs had fun in PA


My birthday boy






 The girls and their Grammy

 Sweet baby Elena

Crazy Grammy putting bubbles in the pool!!!
(thanks again for letting us destroy visit your house for two weeks!)
 
Hooray for the first day of Summer Camp!

But sneaky Mom still made us do "Mommy Summer School"


 Fourth of July fun




I'm forever indebted to our neighbors' son, Riley.  This sweet kid mowed my grass nearly all summer without me ever asking, he helped me out with the kids many times when I had late-night meetings, and always did so with a smile on his face.  Thanks, Riley!!!
 

My childhood friend, Amanda, and her family invited us to spend the week with them in Duck, NC.  We were so grateful for the chance to visit with them, break-up our summer, let the kids play, and for Amanda and I to spend time together.  We were blessed by their generosity and thankful for the time with them.


 I sure wish Abby and Amanda lived closer to each other.  They were BFF's for the week.


Amanda also LOVED Abby's Grandma :)
 

 Our mommies let us have ice cream!!


 Sissy love




 20 years ago we had our picture taken like this in OCMD

The little girl dinner table



My longest friend of 30 years

 My two favorite Amandas

 
 Special thanks to Jimmy and Jordan S. for giving Joseph some extra "man attention" that week.
 My sister and I flew to Ethiopia to legally adopt my sons, Samuel and Benjamin
(I'll blog about that trip later...I'm still wrapping my head around it all)

Samuel (right) and Benjamin (left)

Samuel (left) and Benjamin (right)

 Aunk KayKay, Samuel, Momma, and Benjamin

 
"Near the End of Deployment" care package from Annie
Family vacation with Grammy, Grandpa, Uncle Buddy, and Zia




Please don't go, Grandpa!

We have a few more visits of fun coming up:  Aunt Tina and her family are coming to the beach for a week, Jordan's parents are coming for a visit, and a sweet family we had the privilege of meeting through adoption are also coming into town.

After all that fun...nothing seems better then welcoming home the man we love most!
(Shhhh, don't tell the kids!)