"Every good and perfect gift is from above..." James 1:17

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

And Then There Were Six

Today is the day we received the phone call that changed our lives...

We are matched!!

We are going to be the parents of four (yes, I know, four!) beautiful children.  Our son is 6, and our daughters are 4, 3, and 2.  Because of some legal work that first must be done we can't yet share their names but don't worry, as soon as we can we will. 

They are the most beautiful children.  They have a lovely bronzed skin tone, striking jet black hair.  The girls all have curly hair too, just like me!  Their features are petite and tiny, their teeth are white as snow, and their smiles go from ear to ear.

We're going to meet them for the first time next week.  We're not sure what date yet, the caseworkers (ours and theirs) are working on that as we speak.  They could be living with us in the next 2-3 weeks if the visits work well.

As you can imagine my head is spinning off of my very neck.  I'll post again later once we have some affairs in order.  In the meantime, please pray that this transition goes smoothly and seamlessly.  Pray especially for the sake of our children fragile hearts but also for our hearts (which are beating out of our very chests).

I'll post again soon, but now I'm most excited to repost the verse that is my theme verse for this blog:

"Every good and perfect gift is from above..."  James 1:17

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

The Un-Update

I sure wish I had some news to share...good or bad.  Right now, though, we don't have any.  Consider this your Not-Really-An-Update-Update.

The agency/county from our first interview (the group of four) wanted to have their decision made by two Fridays ago (March 4).  Some unforseen or forseen (we don't know) events have occurred that did not let them meet that deadline.  They have been in contact with our caseworker and are very apologetic that a decision hasn't been made yet.  They assured Jess as soon as a decision was made as to which family is matched with the kids that they would let her know.  We're still waiting for some news on this one.  Apparently this isn't completely uncommon with this sort of case.  Things come up and can change easily.  We're just waiting to find out if we're lucky enough to love on these little buggers.

The second agency/county from our second interview (the group of three) should have finished interviewing other families by this point.  All we are waiting on is to hear when our next interview (Round 2) is with them.  They had set a goal for the Round 2 Interview to be held in the month of March.  They made it clear that this was only a goal and it could be pushed into April.  Hopefully they'll soon let us know and we can keep moving forward with these loves.

We're holding up in the Ames in house.  We are weary of waiting but now we're in a place of peace, a place we haven't really been in a while.  Recently, as we talked through this whole process we realized how much we were not in control.  Everything single thing that we thought would, could, or might happen a certain way did not.  In that place of having no control we can clearly see how it did indeed all work out okay and in some places worked out even better than we thought.  I never really thought I'd say this but there is real freedom in letting go of the need to control.  Please hear what I am not saying:  I am not saying that you shouldn't do what you can when you can.  I am saying that when you do what you can when you can, leave it at that.  Stop worrying.  Stop double checking.  Stop feeling anxious.  Stop bad attitudes.  Stop wondering why something didn't happen.

And start seeking and thanking the One who knows what he is doing all the time.

It's no secret that I like to maintain control in my life.  I like to plan, I like to organize, I like to be prepared, I like things my way in my time.  I truly don't believe these qualities are bad qualities.  In fact, they often come in handy.  When these qualities are bad and actually harmful is when I think that they are above the ways of God's perfect plan. 
A week ago as I was praying for my friends a word picture was given to me that I shared with them.  Picture this with me if you can:  a beautiful piece of artwork.  Any piece, just pick a piece.  I like Monet so I think of "Water Lily Pond."  If you take just one small portion of the artwork it doesn't look like much.  In fact, you won't even be able to tell what it is.  It may be a dark color, it may be a light color.  It may have no color.  It may be pretty or it may be ugly.  If that's all you can see, though, you'll likely base your feelings of the work on that one tiny little section.  If you have the ability to step back...waaaaaay back...and see the whole entire piece you'll clearly see how that little small portion fits perfectly into the big picture...the big beautiful picture.
After I prayed that for my friends it dawned on me:  Sarah, take your own bloody advice for once.  At that point it all kind of came together.  I don't need to see the whole big picture.  I know it's there and I know it's beautiful and that should be enough for me.  And that, my friends, is how peace came to me.

I still am weary and I still would love to have my kids but now is just a bit different.  It doesn't come naturally and isn't always easy to remain peaceful but it sure feels better this way (plus, I like having some sleep back!).  To those of you who have helped me get here by praying, encouraging, talking, and just sticking with me through  my mess of moods, consider this one great big thank you (especially to Jordan, Mom and Daddy).

My moral tonight is this:  please know that if you are in a situation where you are anxious, worried, upset, etc. there is peace for you.  All you have to do is ask for it.  That was my problem.  I didn't ask for peace, I asked for things to turn out the way I wanted them.  Now that I have that straightened out my load (and my step) is just a little lighter.

"And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7


Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Interview #2

Love them...love them all!

This interview went just as well as the first but looked different in a few ways.  First of all, it was MUCH smaller.  In the particular county we interviewed with on Monday there are three rounds of interviews (yes, I know...three!).  So, this interview had less people in it than our previous interview (that county only requires one interview to choose a family).  For interview #2 and #3 more and more people are added.
To make a long 2 1/2 hour interview shorter -  they liked us...they liked us enough that they decided immediately after the interview was over to advance us to "the next round."  Now, we just sit and wait for them to finish interviewing the rest of the families, make their decisions on who they will advance, and notify us when the Round 2 interview will be scheduled.  The good news is that if you make it into Round 3 they interview the final three families all in the same day and make their decision that very same day.  At least all your waiting up until that point is rewarded with some expediency!

So, we love them...we love them all.

Though this group looks so very different from the first group we can't help but love them too.  Each of these groups has such different group personalities and then within that each child has such a different personality.  We would be thrilled to be chosen for either set.  We've had some people ask us which group we would choose if were chosen for both (WISH!).  The answer to that is we could not.  There is not one single characteristic, need, personality...anything at all that would make us choose one group over the other.  They are so different and each so special that there is no way to compare them.  Should that happen, we'd leave it up to the expert...our caseworker.
                                         HOWEVER
We are still praying that we don't have to choose (or have anyone choose for us).  We're hoping the timing will be just right that we'll clearly know who our group is going to be.  Which brings me to another point.  We could walk out of these interviews without any children.  Boy do we hope that isn't the case...boy do we ever.
But I continue to claim that we fully trust in God's sovereignty during this whole process, especially now that we are so close - much closer than we've ever been.  But you know, as I sit and wait for "the call" or "the email" I am fighting feelings of nervousness and anxiety.  I'm trying my darndest to keep them at bay and out of my head.  I've been reminded (by others, by myself, by Jordan, and by the Word) that I am not fighting this battle alone.  I've got the greatest warrior fighting for me and my kids...the warrior that NEVER grows weary, NEVER gets anxious, and NEVER gives up.  I am confident His will will be done in this battle.  I sometimes just wish I could close my eyes and let Him finish while I hibernate :)

I'm going to leave you with two verses I've been clinging to this past week; they have a very special place in my heart.  These are verses that came to me at two different times at just at the right time by two people who didn't even know I needed them or why I needed them...these two women didn't even chat with each other about this.  In fact, one was given to me by a woman I had never met before.  Please notice how similar these two verses are...this clearly isn't a coincidence but rather a specific message meant for me in my time of need.  So thank you Kate O. and Sherilyn J. for listening and responding as you were directed.

"You will not have to fight this battle.  Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you...Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.  Go out and face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you." 2 Chronicles 20: 17

"Do not be afraid of them; the LORD your God himself will fight for you." Deuteronomy 3:22

(See, that doesn't look like a coincidence, does it?  Thank you Stacy S. for your post about coincidences!)